


G889 WARS

by nic



Category: Earth 2, Earth 2 (TV 1994), Star Wars
Genre: Crossover, F/M, Gen, Parody, crack!fic
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2012-08-22
Updated: 2012-08-22
Packaged: 2017-11-12 16:38:02
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 8
Words: 25,357
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/493409
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nic/pseuds/nic
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A long time ago, on a planet far, far away....</p><p>              RETURN OF THE DREAMER</p><p>         Aluko Soulwalker has returned to his  home planet of Eetooine  in an   attempt   to   rescue   his friend   Dan Zolo   from   the clutches  of  the  vile gangster Grendler the Hutt.</p><p>Little does Aluko know that the GALACTIC  COUNCIL  has  secretly begun   construction  on  a  new armoured   space  station   even more  powerful  than  the  first dreaded Death Star.             </p><p>When  completed,  this  ultimate weapon  will spell certain  doom  for the  small  band  of  rebels  struggling  to  restore freedom   to the galaxy...</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> NOTES FROM 1997:
> 
> G889 WARS - The crossover that was inevitable...
> 
> Thanks to Mai (the Admiral!) for some great ideas used within this.
> 
> DISCLAIMER : The characters and situations contained within this story are not mine. I have blatantly "borrowed" them from George Lucas and Lucasfilm, Twentieth Century Fox, and Universal/Amblin Entertainment (to name just a few).
> 
> The text was based on James Khan's novelisation of "Return of the Jedi". 
> 
> DEDICATION : To John Williams, the greatest composer in this and any galaxy...
    
    
    A long time ago on a planet far, far away... 
    
          GGGGG        88        88       9999 
         GG          88  88    88  88    99  99  
        GG           88  88    88  88   99   99  
        GG             88        88      99999   
        GG   GGGG    88  88    88  88        9   
        GG   GG     88  88    88  88       9    
         GGGGGG       88        88        9     
    
    
     WW          WW     A       RRRRRR     SSSSSS
      WW   WW   WW    AA AA     RR   R    SSS    
       WW  WW  WW    AA   AA    RR   R    SS     
       WW  WW  WW    AAAAAAA    RRRRR      SSSS  
         WW  WW      AA   AA    RR  R         SSS
         WW  WW      AA   AA    RR  RR       SSS 
          W  W       AA   AA    RR  RR   SSSSSS  
    
    
    
                        Episode VI 
    
    
                  RETURN OF THE DREAMER
    
             Aluko Soulwalker has returned to 
             his  home planet of Eetooine  in 
             an   attempt   to   rescue   his 
             friend   Dan   Zolo   from   the 
             clutches  of  the  vile gangster 
             Grendler the Hutt. 
    
             Little does Aluko know  that the 
             GALACTIC  COUNCIL  has  secretly 
             begun   construction  on  a  new 
             armoured   space  station   even 
             more  powerful  than  the  first 
             dreaded Death Star. 
    
             When  completed,  this  ultimate 
             weapon  will spell certain  doom 
             for the  small  band  of  rebels 
             struggling  to  restore  freedom 
             to the galaxy...
    
    
    *                              *                  *
         *        *                              *               
                                                              *  
                           *
                                      *                 *
     *
             *               *                 *             *
                      *
                                     *             *
    
       *         *               *                      
                       *                           *           
    
        *                                  *                        *
    
                   *                  *                   *
          *                 *                   *              *
    *
                                    *                 *
                     *
                         *          ^         *
                                   ^^^
                                  ^^^^^
                                 ^^^^^^^
                                ^^^^^^^^^
                               ^^^^^^^^^^^
                              ^^^^^^^^^^^^^
                             ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
                            ^^^^^^STAR^^^^^^^
                           ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
                          ^^^^^^DESTROYER^^^^^^
                         ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
                        ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
                       ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
                      ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
                     ^^^^^^^^^^^^^that ^^^^^^^^^^^^^
                    ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^goes^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
                   ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^on^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
                  ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^forever^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
                 ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
                ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
               ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
              ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
             ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
            ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
           ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
          ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
         ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
        ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
       ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
      ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
     ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
    ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
      ^         *                *                *                 ^
       ^      *   *            *   *            *   *             ^
        ^       *                *                *              ^
         ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
         ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
    
    
    


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> IMPORTANT NOTE: The text of this parody was heavily based on James Kahn's novelisation of "Return of the Jedi". All kudos to him!

The very depths of space. It was infinite - layer of black upon black save for the tiny pinpricks of light that randomly dotted the darkness. These stars, of every size, shape and form were as many as the number of beings who lived throughout the universe. 

There were protostars, and giant stars. Twin stars. White dwarf stars. Rock stars. There was the Death Star. 

Nearing completion, it represented the true evil and darkness that had consumed the fragile galaxy. It was owned by those who were power hungry and would stop at nothing to rule in absolute power. And once completed, this Death Star would mean the end of all freedom and hope. 

It hung eerily over a blue-green planet, the mythical G889. Only recently rediscovered by the Galactic Council, it was scheduled for extermination once the Death Star was fully completed. G889 represented a great danger. 

Most alien beings had heard of this planet, as the legendary Dreamplane was supposed to have its source in this very place. In the old days, millennia before the corruption and darkness that had spread throughout the galaxy, G889 had been a place of light and happiness. 

It had spawned thousands of Dreamers, those who could contact the Otherworld of the Dreamplane, and had special powers in the real world. It had been a time of peace and light when the Dreamers watched over the galaxy. 

But those days were all but gone, and the Dreamers long dead. Their numbers had dropped as G889 became further and further from the galactic centre, until it was all but forgotten. And the remaining Dreamers, those who could teach the old ways to the new generations, had been hunted down and killed. 

Corruption was everywhere. The evil Emperor had seized power as people forgot the old ways and allowed their lives to be coloured by technology and machines. And it was the Emperor who had created Darth Yale. 

Darth Yale. The name was enough to make even the most seasoned warrior quake in his booties. There were rumours that he had once been a man, but that was a long time in the past. Darth Yale was a mass of twisted, interlocked machinery, and whatever face he might have was hidden behind a mask as black as the Emperor's soul. 

It was Darth Yale who now approached the Death Star in his shuttle. Thousands of ZED-Troopers were lined up in perfect formation as the dark lord's ship gracefully flew into the docking bay. As the airlock shield opened, the ZED-Troopers unfortunate enough to be standing near it were sucked into space, but they did not cry out. They had been trained against this sort of thing. 

Nonetheless, other ZED-Troopers were very glad of their magnetic boots which prevented their similar fates. If only the Council wouldn't insist on these farcical parades... 

The shuttle landed with a hiss matched by thousands of Troopers exhaling in relief as the airlock shield closed. Then the shuttle door opened. 

Dark, foreboding music suddenly poured out of the shuttle, accompanied by the heavy breathing of Darth Yale. It was quite eerie how the dark lord seemed to carry the music around with him, although for all intents and purposes he was unaware of this. Another strange oddity was the fact that the music died away every time anyone had something to say. 

Which happened just then. 

"Lord Yale, this is an unexpected pleasure. We are honoured by your presence," said Commander Blalock nervously. 

"We can dispense with the pleasantries, Commander. The Emperor is concerned with your progress. I am here to put you back on schedule." 

Blalock turned pale. This was news he'd not expected. "I can assure you, Lord Yale, my men are working as fast as they can. This station will be operational as planned." 

"I am afraid the Emperor does not share your optimistic appraisal of the situation." This was an understatement, and both Yale and Blalock knew it. 

"I fear he asks the impossible," Blalock suggested nervously. 

"Perhaps you could explain that to him when he arrives." 

Blalock almost stumbled in his shock. "The Emperor is coming here?" 

"Yes, Commander. And he will be quite displeased if you are still behind schedule when he arrives." He spoke loudly, to spread the threat over all who could hear. 

"We shall double our efforts, Lord Yale." And Blalock meant it. What wouldn't he give for a nice bomb planted on the Emperor's ship...but no, he shouldn't think such things. Darth Yale had a way of reading minds. 

However, on this occasion Darth Yale did not bother to notice the telltale sweat on Blalock's forehead. He was too consumed with his own thoughts, of the one problem left in the galaxy. 

Eden Alliance. He had received news that they were gathering their forces into one giant armada. The time was at hand for crushing them with a single blow, and Darth Yale intended to be at the forefront of it. Underneath the black helmet, he tried to smile, but the helmet creaked at the strain. Yale pictured ripping the helmet off, perhaps lobbing it down the docking bay like a football...then he shook his head. The games program was intruding again, he had to focus and make sure that the only part of technology in his mind was the "evil warlord" program. Then he would be alright. 

Filling his mind with the thought of victory over Eden Alliance, Darth Yale strode off camera. 

*** 

Meanwhile... 

Twin suns blazed in the sky high over the planet Eetooine. The sizzling rays gleamed on two figures making their way through the desert, one tall and golden, the other much shorter but just as hesitant. They were headed for an eerily shaped building in the distance, the home of Grendler the Hutt. 

"Poor Baines Calrissian never returned from this place," worried Julipio, the golden haired droid. She was a protocol droid, famous for giving out statistics and calculations yet not many people could say they knew her well. Her personality was buried beneath the training she'd had. 

A high pitched scream emitted from her companion, and Julipio looked down fondly. R-True D-True was so fond of screaming. It was the only language she had. 

The two droids fearfully approached the Hutt's dwelling place, where a great door loomed before them. 

"There doesn't seem to be anyone here," said Julipio quickly. "Let's go back and tell Master Aluko." Julipio had a secret crush on her master, not that she could ever tell him. What would the famous Aluko Soulwalker, last of the Dreamers, see in her? 

But it didn't stop her wanting to see as much of him as possible. Julipio turned to go, when an eye-like mechanical door guard popped from the wall and barked instructions. 

"R-True D-Truewha bo Julipiosha ey tootal odd mischka Grendler da Hutt," replied Julipio in perfect, fluent Bocce. The eyeball looked quickly from one robot to the other, then retracted through the window and slammed the hatch shut. 

"I don't think there going to let us in, R-True. We'd better go." 

But then the great mechanical doors slowly groaned open and the droids reluctantly went inside. They were greeted by an abomination of a creature, one missing an eye and with strange tentacles around his neck. Sheppard Fortuna. 

He was Grendler the Hutt's right hand man, and rarely saw the sunlight, preferring to lurk within caves well beneath the surface. He exuded a strange, controlling quality over those who lived in this mockery of a palace, and some said he planned to overthrow Grendler someday. 

But for now, he meekly did his master's bidding. He asked the droids what they were doing there, and Julipio worriedly replied, "Die wanna wanga. We bring a message to your master, Grendler the Hutt." R-True beeped, and Julipio added, "and a gift." She thought about this for a moment, then looked around puzzledly at the smaller droid. "Gift? What gift?" Maybe R-True had a DNA sequence hidden inside her round body. Julipio *knew* exactly how valuable those things were. Why, there was a time when... 

"Nee Grendler no badda," snapped Sheppard, interrupting the droid's train of thought. "Me chaade su goodie." He held out his hand expectantly. 

R-True whistled a defiant no. 

"R-True, give it to him!" insisted Julipio, but the shorter droid continued whistling and screaming in protest. 

"She says our master's instructions are to give it only to Grendler himself. I'm terribly sorry. I'm afraid she's ever so stubborn about these things." Stubborn was perhaps an understatement, for R-True definitely took after her maker, one of the most stubborn men in the galaxy. 

Sheppard Fortuna began walking into the darkness, gesturing for the droids to follow him. The conversation was clearly over. 

*** 

Julipio and R-True miserably stared around Grendler's court. Aliens from every imaginable species were sprawled over the place, many inebriated or sleeping in a pile of their own filth and grime. 

But the most grotesque creature of all was the owner of this place, the feared crimelord Grendler the Hutt. He sat on a throne above his minions, his awesome bulk the central presence of the room. 

Drool constantly trickled down his chin and collected in a pile on the floor. Julipio stared at it wistfully - Hutt drool was valuable stuff on the intergalactic market and Eden Alliance could use all the funds they could get. But there was no way Julipio was going near Grendler to get it. 

By his left sat a small unidentifiable creature, Delicious Crumb. Delicious served no useful purpose other than to laugh uproariously at Grendler's actions, and sometimes indulge himself on a tasty Hutt-tail snack. 

Actually, no one quite knew why Delicious was there. It was another great unsolved mystery of the galaxy. 

Grendler opened his mouth, and a fetid rush of air hit Julipio squarely in the face. She stumbled backwards as the Hutt grunted in his native language. 

"The message, R-True, the message," Julipio urged. A beam of light shot from R-True's body, and Julipio's heart fluttered at the sight of her master. He was so tall, so handsome, and his voice... 

"Greetings, Exalted One," the hologram said to Grendler. "Allow me to introduce myself. I am Aluko Soulwalker, the last of the Dreamers and friend of Captain Zolo. I seek an audience with your greatness to bargain for his life." 

At this, Delicious Crumb burst into laughter and everyone followed his lead. Julipio was outraged. 

"I know that you are powerful, mighty Grendler, and that your anger with Zolo must be equally powerful. But I am sure we can work out an arrangement which will be mutually beneficial. As a token of my good will, I present to you a gift." Aluko's image extended a hand. "These two droids." 

Julipio jumped back, horrified. "What! What did he say?" 

"Both are hardworking and will serve you well," concluded Aluko and the image disappeared. 

Throwing her hands up in despair, Julipio cried, "Oh no, this can't be! R-True, you're playing the wrong message!" 

Grendler laughed and drooled. So did Delicious. 

Sheppard Fortuna snarled, "He is no Dreamer." 

Nodding in agreement, Grendler grinned. A grinning Grendler could be a formidable sight at times, and a shiver ran through Julipio. "There will be no bargain," he chuckled in Huttese. "I have no intention of giving up my favourite decoration." 

With a hideous laugh, he looked toward the dimly lit alcove beside the throne. There, hanging flat against the wall, was the carbonised form of Dan Zolo, his face and hands emerging out of the cold hard slab, like a statue reaching from a sea of stone. 

 

*** 

Delicious howled with laughter as the poor dancer Eben was thrown beneath into the pit. Grendler, too, was laughing uproariously and drooling even more than usual at the girl's demise. Julipio shrank back from the spectacle, praying for the day that someone would come rescue her from this dreadful place. 

A sudden quiet fell over the room. Julipio looked up to see Sheppard Fortuna making his way through the crowd, followed by a fierce-looking bounty hunter who led his captive prize on a leash - the Wookiee Bessbacca. 

Julipio gasped, stunned. "Oh, no! Bessbacca!" If the bounty hunter had caught Bessbacca, things were very grim indeed. The Wookiee howled mournfully, a sound all too familiar to Julipio's ears. Bessbacca was her friend - Julipio had once been stuck to the Wookiee for days before they figured out how to disentangle Julipio's circuit board from the masses of curly, dark hair that covered most of Bessbacca's body. 

Bessbacca, or Bessie as she was known to her friends, howled mournfully as she caught sight of Dan Zolo, hanging on the wall. Dan was her dearest friend, and Bessbacca swore that Grendler would not get away with this outrage. She heard Delicious Crumb laughing at her predicament, and made more grumbling noises. Bessbacca had very little tolerance for small rodents. 

The bounty hunter stepped forward, nodding at others of his kind within Grendler's court. Especially Reilly Fett, the notorious bounty hunter who had captured Dan Zolo and delivered him to the Galactic Council before returning to Grendler's. 

Quickly bargaining with Grendler, and making a few threats along the way, the bounty hunter was soon satisfied with the price he received for Bessbacca. The Wookiee, howling and making other indecipherable noises, was led into the dungeon below as the band struck up a new tune. 

*** 

The throne room was quiet, dark and empty as night filled its littered corners. Grendler was snoring obscenely as more and more drool collected at the base of his grotesque body. Even Delicious Crumb had finally stopped laughing and was fast asleep, laying in a pool of Grendler's drool. Delicious had heard that it was good for the skin. 

Through all of this filth, a small figure crept. He made his way stealthily behind the curtain separating the alcove from the main room, and then paused. Only muffled sounds of snoring reached his ears, so he proceeded onwards, closer, until finally, he was before the frozen figure of Dan Zolo. 

The bounty hunter seemed to sharply take a breath as he reached out to touch the cold, metal face. Then he directed his attention to the control mechanism at the side and activated a series of switches. The decarbonisation procedure began. 

A high pitched sound was emitted, and the bounty hunter winced. Slowly, the hard shell that was covering the contours of Dan'z face started to melt away. Soon, the coating was gone from the entire front of his body, freeing his upraised hands - so long frozen in protest - and they fell slackly at his sides. He gasped, finally able to breath again after so long in the torturous hell between dreaming and waking, and collapsed forward to the floor. 

Dan began to cough, and the bounty hunter tried to quiet him. "Just relax," he said. "You're free of the carbonite." 

"I can't see!" managed Dan, feeling around him for anything familiar. The last thing he remembered was betrayal at Cloud City, and the face of the princess staring at him in anguish as he was frozen colder than a popsicle in the middle of winter. 

"You have hibernation sickness," explained the bounty hunter. "Bears get it all the time. Your eyesight will return. Come, we must leave." 

"Wait," protested Dan, clawing blindly for the face of the mysterious bounty hunter who had finally freed him. "Wha - who are you?" 

The bounty hunter reached up and pulled the helmet away, revealing, underneath, the beautiful face of Princess Devonleia. 

"Someone who loves you," she whispered, taking his face tenderly into her hands and kissing him long on the lips. 

"Devonleia!" Dan gasped in surprise, almost stumbling over her ridiculous name because the author hadn't managed to make a decent merge of the other two titles. 

"I've got to get you out of here." She pulled Dan to his feet (which was no mean feet within itself) and was almost beside herself with joy at his nearness. After so long, so many months separated, it was wonderful to have him in her arms again. They'd wasted so much time fighting and bickering. Devonleia had once shouted that he loved his ship, the Millennium Transrover, more than he loved people and he'd shot back that maybe if she didn't spend so much time bossing people around then he'd pay her more attention. 

It was a long, complicated saga, but at this moment, Devonleia realised she wouldn't have traded a moment of it. For finally, her love had been returned to her. 

They started towards the exit, but a horrible sound reached their ears. A low, guttural laugh twinned with the cackling of Delicious Crumb. 

"What's -?" Dan started to say, but then interrupted himself. "I know that laugh. Grendler." 

"Ho ho ho," laughed Grendler the Hutt, sounding like an evil version of Santa Claus. 

Dan straightened bravely to face his nemesis, and Devonleia gently turned him around to face the right direction. "Listen, Grendler," said Dan, hoping he sounded a lot more confident than he felt. 

"I never meant to kill your wife, I swear, it was an accident!" 

"It's too late now for apologies, Zolo," rumbled Grendler. He remembered the day the news came all too well - his wife (the old hag but never mind that) - had been shot and *eaten* by Dan Zolo and his companions. 

In actual fact, Grendler had been pleased to learn of her death. It meant no more nagging. But when he heard that his old enemy, Dan Zolo, was behind it, Grendler had sworn to get revenge someday. 

"Listen, Grendler, you want money? 'Cause I can get it from you, hundreds, thousands!" Dan hoped he could fulfil his bargain, because he knew that Princess Devonleia was rich and surely she could be persuaded to loan him a few credits? 

Dan suddenly had another idea. "Silverware!" he shouted in desperation as the guards began to haul him away. "I can get you a silverware necklace! Two of them!" 

Grendler's eyes gleamed at the thought, and Dan realised he was getting through. "I can get you a hundred!" 

But then Grendler shook his head. "I have waited too long for this, Zolo," he hissed in Huttese. "Take him away." There was more laughter as the blind Dan was pushed roughly through the exit to the dungeons below. 

Grendler then turned his attention to the princess, and drooled in anticipation. "We have powerful friends," she shot as the Hutt pulled her close. "You're going to regret this." Devonleia shuddered as Grendler licked his lips with his foul tongue. And Delicious Crumb laughed. 

*** 

High above Grendler's slithery underworld, the main gates to the planet outside whirred open. A shrouded figure stood, illuminated by the sunlight behind him. Guards raced forward to prevent the figure's entry, but a simple hand motion caused the guards to reel backwards. 

Aluko Soulwalker had entered Grendler's domain. He walked calmly and confidently. Gone were all traces of the flippant young farmboy-turned-pilot he had once been. Since joining Eden Alliance, he had learnt much about the ways of the universe. And much about himself. 

He had finally come to terms with the truth of what had happened at Cloud City, his confrontation with Darth Yale. The dark lord had beaten Aluko, and almost turned him to the dark side of the Dreamplane. 

But Aluko had stood firm. And now, he was almost the last of the Dreamers. It was a sobering thought. But this also increased his determination to make a difference in the universe, to fight the evil forces and return the galaxy to the way of the light. 

It was his destiny, as some might say. Aluko did not look forward to another confrontation with the dark side, but he knew he could not avoid it. Especially now that he knew the truth about himself - and Darth Yale. The shocking, terrible secret that had been revealed to Aluko after Yale cut off his... 

Aluko glanced down and sighed. He had a mechanical replacement now, but it wasn't the same. It never would be. He began to feel the anger and resentment build in him once again, but pushed it to one side. He would not travel down that path of hate. 

Sheppard Fortuna approached the young Dreamer, and began to protest at his entry. Aluko was not bothered. He closed his eyes, and pictured the Dreamplane. Through it, he could see things - it seemed that Sheppard had less than noble intentions towards Princess Devonleia. 

Anger again rose within Aluko. He loved Devonleia, he knew that now. Especially since the time when he'd been bitten by a spider on the planet Kosh - the princess had appeared like an angel of mercy to save him. But Devonleia loved Dan. There was no doubt about that, and Aluko knew that he could never have her. 

Briefly, Aluko considered using the Dreamplane to twist the nerve pathways inside Sheppard's head so that he could never prey on innocent women again. However, Aluko stopped himself and was content with altering Sheppard's memories instead. That was enough to get him into Grendler's presence, and it was in keeping with the light side of the Dreamplane. 

"You will take me to Grendler now," instructed Aluko. Sheppard Fortuna repeated his words almost exactly, and lead Aluko down into the dark court. Destiny was at hand. 

Grendler was obviously displeased by Sheppard Fortuna's actions. "Weak minded fool!" he rumbled. "I told you not to admit him!" Grendler glared at Aluko Soulwalker. 

"He must be allowed to speak," softly ascertained Sheppard. Grendler ignored him. 

"Master Aluko!" cried Julipio in happiness. At last, he had come to rescue her! Aluko ignored her. There seemed to be an awful lot of ignorance in the air, something which could be attributed to the lack of dimensional characters. 

Aluko glanced around, memorising every part of the dismal court. He gave Devonleia a sympathetic nod, inwardly angry at the demeaning outfit she had been forced to wear. Surely she was freezing in the bikini top, especially while she was trapped against the slimy Grendler. 

"You will bring Captain Zolo and the Wookiee to me," intoned Aluko, reaching out to the Dreamplane and trying to affect Grendler's mind. But it was a well known fact that, while aware of the Dreamplane, Grendler (and every other Hutt) had no real inkling of what was going on around them. They were just too stupid. 

"Your mind powers will not work on me, boy," smiled Grendler. Aluko was smiling too, at the use of the word 'boy'. He was quite a bit older than that - say, two hundred years or more! Not that he had told anyone. 

Aluko tried another tactic, although he was fast beginning to realise that there was no way through to empty-headed Grendler. "Nevertheless, I am taking Captain Zolo and his friends. You can either profit from this, or be destroyed. It's your choice, but I warn you not to underestimate my powers." 

Grendler just laughed again, quickly joined by Delicious who had still not uttered a word. Julipio grew more and more nervous, especially when she noticed where Aluko was positioned. "Master, you're standing-" A guard abruptly pulled the concerned droid back and she was unable to utter another word. 

"There will be no bargain, young Dreamer," drooled Grendler. "I shall enjoy watching you die." 

Aluko raised his hand, and sent a lightning-fast thought through the Dreamplane. He saw himself reaching out, grabbing the guard's pistol, and it floating towards his hand. He almost had it, almost had it...got it! Aluko prepared to fire the weapon, only...he'd managed to grab a pot plant instead. Damn, he still had to work on that aim! 

Aluko cursed (under his breath, of course - a Dreamer would *never* allow a foul word to pass from his lips) and the floor dropped from beneath him and he tumbled down into a pit. 

"Master Aluko, no!" shrieked Julipio, neatly tripping and almost throwing herself down after him. She *knew* what was in that pit, and knew of the horror that awaited Aluko. Devonleia was just as distraught, feeling as though part of herself had been dragged down with him. 

"Oh no," whimpered Julipio. Devonleia shot her a frantic look as she strained against the chain binding her to Grendler. "What is it?" 

"It's the Notorious Barbaric Carnivore!" wailed Julipio. 

"The what?" 

"NBC!" 

Devonleia was aghast. She'd heard of NBC - it was one of the most terrifying, cruel, heartless beings throughout the universe. And now Aluko had to face it. Alone. 

A low rumbling sounded from the darkness as Aluko scrambled to his feet. Nervously, he glanced around, and heard a grating noise as the beast was released. And Aluko was without weapons. 

He decided to try talking to NBC, reasoning with it. But the notorious barbaric carnivore refused to listen, even in the face of countless facts as to why Aluko should be allowed to continue on. 

Summoning all of his strength, Aluko reached out through the Dreamplane to contact hundreds of others who, like him, had been screwed around by NBC. A thousand letters floated down, momentarily blinding the beast, but that did not stop it for long. NBC wasn't only out for blood. It wanted to destroy the young Dreamer's soul. 

NBC lumbered forward and Aluko scrambled backwards. He was trapped! He hid himself under a rock, flinching as NBC's hand of wrath tried desperately to grab him. Finding Another Network rock, Aluko smashed it down on NBC's hand. The pain momentarily stopped the monster and Aluko ducked between its legs, spying an exit beyond. 

But the door was locked. Aluko pounded on it frantically, praying for the guards to release him. And all the while, NBC lumbered closer and closer, determined to destroy the one who had wounded it. 

There was nothing left for Aluko to do but destroy the monster once and for all. He'd tried reasoning, he'd tried pleading, he'd even tried to get away from it. So it all came down to this. Aluko picked up Yet Another Network Rock (or was it a Fraggle Rock?) and hurled it towards the gate controls just as NBC passed beneath it. The great gate came crashing down. And NBC was crushed. 

Aluko heaved a sigh of relief, and Devonleia laughed aloud. He was safe! He'd killed the beast! 

But there was worse in store for the intrepid members of Eden Alliance. Dan and Bessie were dragged from their cell to stand before Grendler, along with Aluko. 

"Dan! Good to see you again," called Aluko. Dan'z face lit up. " 'Luke! Are you in this mess now too?" 

"Wouldn't miss it," replied Aluko, grinning. He hadn't seen Dan for over a year, and while it wasn't the best reunion possible, it was a reunion. He'd missed Dan. 

"How're we doing?" asked Aluko's old friend. 

"Same as always." 

"That bad, huh?" 

Aluko grinned. He wasn't really worried. It was just a matter of time until they would all escape. Everyone was in place now - Baineso posing as one of Grendler's guards, Julipio constantly on hand, even Devonleia, chained as she was, was prepared for action. If only they knew where R-True was... Aluko missed the little screamer. 

"Where's Devonleia?" asked Dan, feeling blindly in front of him. Damn, he wished he could see. He'd heard that Devonleia was decked out in some tiny bikini - and *that* was a sight he'd like to see! Especially since her favourite day wear seemed to consist of neck-to-ankle outfits. 

"I'm over here, Dan!" called Devonleia, and he turned towards the direction of her voice. He bumped into Bessbacca, and the Wookiee gave a half-growl. Now come on, there was no way that Bessie could be jealous, was there? Dan affectionately ruffled the fur on Bessbacca's arm, and she made a different, more comforted noise. 

"Talkdroid!" suddenly rumbled Grendler. Julipio scuttled out from the shadows and listened to Grendler's instructions. She began to translate. 

"His high exaltedness, the great Grendler the Hutt, has decreed that you are to be terminated immediately." 

"That's good, I hate long waits," quipped Dan. 

"You will be thrown into the Great Pit of Spring-" 

Dan shrugged, and turned to where he thought Aluko was. "That doesn't sound to bad." 

Julipio ignored the interruption. "-where you will find a new definition of pain as you are barfed up into the atmosphere every spring for the next one thousand years!" 

"On second thoughts, maybe we could pass on that," Dan reconsidered. A thousand years was a bit much. And spewed up every spring??? With the flowers and everything? Bessbacca uttered a worried moan. She'd seen the Great Pit of Spring once before, and knew how horrible it could be. 

Aluko, however, was smiling. "You should have bargained, Grendler. This is the last mistake you'll ever make..." His words trailed off as the guards dragged the unlucky trio away. 

*** 

The Rail Barge glided slowly across the endless plains of planet Eetooine. Accompanying the Rail were two smaller skiffs, one of which held three of the prisoners along with a number of guards, including Baineso. Baineso was keeping a careful eye on Dan in particular. His old friend was still blind. 

Aluko did not seemed worried, although Bessbacca was nervously pulling at the fur around her face. She was making growling noises, sounding even more worried than usual. Baineso wished that Bessie could speak. It would make life so much easier. 

Bessbacca continued to growl, now complaining about hunger pains along with everything else. Grendler had neglected to feed them, and a hungry Wookiee was not a pretty sight. Even if the Wookiee's name *was* Bessie. 

"I think my sight is getting better," suddenly said Dan, interrupting Bessbacca's tirade. "Instead of a big dark blur, I see a big bright blur." 

"Believe me, you're not missing anything." Aluko smiled. "I grew up here. I think." It had been so long ago that he was beginning to forget. Maybe he'd spent one too many years in cold sleep. 

"You're gonna die here, you know," said Dan darkly. 

Things were not much happier on the Rail Barge itself. Julipio was pacing backwards and forwards, deeply regretting her involvement in all of this. Why, she was allied with the bad guys! She shivered, thinking of Grendler the Hutt, but there was no way she could escape his evil clutches. 

As Julipio tottered along a corridor, she tripped and crashed into another small droid. It screamed indignantly, and Julipio felt a sense of happiness through the pain to her hearing circuits. She knew that wail. 

"R-True! What are you doing here?" 

The smaller droid beeped happily. 

"Yes, I can see that you're serving drinks. But they're going to execute Master Aluko!" 

R-True gave another shrill whistle, causing all in hearing distance to wince in agony. Her screams roughly translated to, "What about Dan and Bessie?" How dare Julipio forget about Dan so callously? R-True quite liked the big guy. He was like a father to her. 

"Yes, they're here too. Oh, what am I going to do?" wailed Julipio. 

Devonleia heard the droids, and gave Julipio an exasperated look. For one thing, Julipio could stop whingeing about the terrible role she'd been given and actually put up some resistance. Devonleia would certainly appreciate getting away from the drooly Grendler. 

He pulled her close now, and Devonleia winced. Grendler's fetid breath was all over her, and it would take her *weeks* to get the smell out of her precious hair. Devonleia had quite a thing for hair, and several wigs at home. No one knew that she was really quite bald. It had happened years ago, a terrible accident with her adopted father's electric razor... 

But now, Devonleia had a whole range of hairstyles to choose from. Her first wig had consisted of very cool buns, but that hairstyle had been destroyed when Dan mistakenly put them in the oven one night. He claimed he was hungry, and that it was dark, and muffins sounded *so* good to him, but Devonleia had her suspicions... 

In any case, she thought, twisting the edge of her long braid around her arm, Dan seemed to like her new hairstyles much better. As long as the glue held, and Delicious didn't eat her hair, she would be just fine. 

Suddenly, the Rail Barge ground to a halt. They had arrived at the Great Pit of Spring and the execution was near. 

"His excellency hopes you will die honourably," announced Julipio from the Rail, her voice amplified by a loudspeaker. Grendler muttered more Huttese, which the droid continued to translate. "But should any of you wish to beg for mercy, Grendler will now listen to your pleas." 

"You tell that slimy piece of worm-ridden filth he'll get no such pleasure from us!" shouted Dan indignantly. Bessbacca growled in agreement. 

Aluko's reaction was quite different. "Grendler, this is your last chance," he called. "Free us, or die." 

Grendler and Delicious only laughed as Aluko was pushed onto the plank. "Throw him in!" ordered Grendler. 

Aluko faced the Rail Barge. Saw R-True scooting along the edge. Saluted. Then jumped over the edge. 

R-True sent Aluko's precious staff-saber soaring through the air as the Dreamer caught the edge of the plank on his way down. Jumping up from the trampoline conveniently situated off camera, Aluko somersaulted into the air and grabbed the weapon, ignited it and began attacking the skiff guards, sending them plummeting into the pit. 

A fast, furious battle ensued. Many stuntmen were thrown into the Great Pit of Spring, which seemed to cackle with each new bite. "Feed me, Seymour!" the pit laughed, and revealed its head. Which looked very much like a giant man-eating plant... 

Reilly Fett looked at the confusion around him in annoyance. Here it was, his final chance to get rid of the Eden Alliance members that annoyed him the most, and then Aluko had to ruin it all. Well, that wouldn't stop Reilly. He'd get them all if it was the last thing he did. And then he would find his ball. 

Reilly aimed his magblaster at Aluko, not noticing the confusion behind him as Baineso freed both Dan and Bessbacca. Dan swung around blindly, and managed to swing his spear into Reilly Fett's jetpack. 

"No!" gasped Reilly, under his breath of course because it was a well known fact that insignificant bounty hunters didn't get many lines. He'd already used his quota up. Reilly felt himself shooting away from the skiff, slamming into the Rail Barge, and then falling all the way down into the mouth of the creature in the Great Pit of Spring. It swallowed him whole and let out a satisfied burp. 

Aluko swung across to the Rail, where he had a whole new contingent of attackers to take out. A guard began to fire the deck gun at the skiff which Dan, Baineso and Bessbacca had now commandeered. The blast was enough to knock the three to the ground, and Baineso slipped over the edge. 

Baineso screamed. He had never been so scared in his life. Some people said it wasn't manly to get scared, but Baineso didn't care as he dangled upside-down. The Great Pit of Spring was mere metres away from his face and the snapping mouth looked hungry. 

Baineso screamed again as he swung backwards and forwards, his foot having caught on the edge of the skiff. Dan grabbed his feet, but another blast from the deck gun sent Dan over the edge as well. 

"Help!" screeched Baineso. It was times like this he wished he'd never lost the Millennium Transrover to Dan. What wouldn't he give to be in there now, locking himself safely in the 'Rover's cabin. Or maybe he could whomp the monster with the 'Rover - there were several members of Eden's Advance Alliance who claimed they were strong enough to do that. 

A warm liquid trickled its way up Baineso's body and dripped from his fingertips. That did it - there was no way *he* was buying "Acme Intergalactic Diapers" again. They just didn't work. 

 

"Get me up!" shouted Baineso as Dan's tenuous grip began to falter. The skiff rocked, and Dan lost his hold. Baineso fell face-first into the sand, slipping closer and closer to the Great Pit with every second. A lethal tentacle reached out to grip his leg. 

That was when Baineso almost lost it completely. 

"Shut up!" yelled Dan over the howling. He aimed his magblaster carefully, half-hoping he *would* hit that idiot Baineso instead of the tentacle. Baineso had a lot to answer for. Setting him up, getting him frozen, and, most of all, coming on to his girlfriend. Oh yeah, and the annoying tendency to run and hide every time things got bad. 

"Hey wait a minute!" shouted Baineso. "I thought you were blind!" 

Damn, his plan was foiled. 

"Trust me!" Dan called. Under directions from both Bessie and Baineso, he adjusted his aim and fired. A direct hit. Bessie pulled up Dan and then Baineso, and the three directed their attention to the ongoing battle on the Rail. 

 

Devonleia'd had enough. If she had to listen to Grendler's - or Delicious's- laughs one more time, she would scream. So she ducked behind Grendler. Before he knew what was happening, Devonleia had wrapped the chain binding her to Grendler around his neck twice, and began to pull. Harder and harder, until she could see Grendler's eyes bulging right out of his head as he gasped for air. Finally, Grendler choked to death. 

"R-True!" screamed Devonleia, sounding a little like the little droid. R-True quickly rolled over and used one of her thousand nifty gadgets to free the princess from the chain that bound her. Together, they headed for the exit. 

On the way, they noticed poor Julipio under attack from Delicious Crumb. 

"No! No! Not my eyes!" shouted Julipio. If her eyes were pecked out, she wouldn't be able to check out Aluko's cute butt anymore! 

R-True had a quick solution to this problem as well, and fired a bolt of electricity at Delicious. Delicious still didn't say a word, but jumped to the ceiling. 

Julipio shakily stood up as R-True stared at Delicious for a moment. The little creature had been annoying since the moment he came into the story. Surely there had to be more to him than that! 

So under R-True's direction, Julipio grabbed Delicious and the three raced towards the exit. Devonleia was already out on the deck, having joined Aluko. 

"Grab the gun!" he instructed her. "Point it at the deck!" Devonleia did so, and R-True realised it was time to get off board. She whistled to Julipio who promptly responded, "It's too far to jump - Aaaaahhh!!!" and R-True pushed her over the edge. The barrel-shaped robot followed, with Delicious in tow. 

 

Aluko gathered Devonleia up in his left arm, and with his right he grabbed hold of a convenient rope that had no apparent use other than to be there for the couple to swing from. He kicked the trigger of the deck gun and then launched into the air as the cannon exploded into the deck. 

Devonleia and Aluko sailed through the air in a beautiful, elegant curve before crashing into Bessbacca in an unceremonious landing. As the Rail Barge crashed to the ground and exploded, the small group of friends on the skiff cheered amongst the reunion hugs. 

Dan swept Devonleia into his arms, and gave her a long kiss. The rumours were right, she *was* in a bikini! 

"Don't forget the droids," cautioned Aluko. "Dan?" 

Devonleia flushed, and pulled away from Dan. He'd been getting awfully excited just then, and Devonleia didn't like such displays of affection. Especially in front of Aluko - with whom she had a special connection. 

The skiff swung around to retrieve Julipio and R-True, along with Delicious. Bessbacca growled when she saw the small rodent. 

"What is it, Bessie? Still hungry?" quizzed Dan. Bessbacca nodded in agreement. 

"Might I suggest something, sir?" Julipio asked, eyeing Delicious with annoyance. It was time to get rid of the rodent once and for all. 

Dan nodded to Julipio and she continued, "This creature's name is Delicious Crumb. That suggests he would make quite a good meal for a Wookiee. Besides, he hasn't said a word throughout this entire story, all he ever does is laugh. I believe he is of little intelligence at all." 

"Good idea," said Dan. Julipio handed Delicious to Bessbacca, who opened her mouth. 

"NO!" shouted Delicious, and Bessbacca dropped him in surprise. "You've got it all wrong! My name isn't Delicious Crumb at all!" 

"Then what is it?" asked Julipio in puzzlement. 

"Cameron!" 

Cameron? Bessbacca shrugged in confusion. The name meant nothing to her, so she picked up the rodent and ate him anyway. He *was* delicious. 

*** 

Two ships soared away from the beautiful planet of Eetooine. One was the Millennium Transrover, the other, Aluko's private X- wing. 

"Meet you at the rendezvous," said Devonleia over the gearlink. 

"Will do," replied Aluko. R-True, in the back of the flyer, whistled inquiringly as to where they were going. 

"Day-glo-blah," replied Aluko. "I've got a promise to keep, to a very old friend." 

He soared off into the night. 

*** 

Planet G889 continued to spin in the darkness, sitting quietly, waiting. Waiting for those it knew would come. And high above the planet, darkness loomed in the form of the half completed Death Star. 

Darth Yale paced backwards and forwards in the docking bay as the ominous music swelled around him. A shuttle was due to arrive any moment. And on it would be - the Emperor. 

Few beings knew the true identity of the Emperor. It was a secret well kept. Darth Yale was one of the privileged few to know the Emperor's true identity, but he would not even allow himself to think of it. It was best to leave people guessing. 

The shuttle approached, and Darth Yale activated his magnetic boots. If *he* was sucked out of the airlock, it would be very bad indeed. The Emperor would not be pleased. 

ZED-Troopers stood rigidly at attention. Many of them were cardboard cut-outs, and Darth Yale fervently hoped that the Emperor would not notice. The Galactic Council was running out of ZED- Troopers fast, due to airlock suctions and the fact that ZED- Troopers couldn't hit a target for anything. Even if the target was half a foot away and not moving. Darth Yale sensed a conspiracy. Or maybe he'd just been watching too many episodes of "The X-files" lately. 

 

A gust of air ruffled Darth Yale's cloak as the great sheild was lowered and the shuttle glided in. It gently landed and the hatch swung open. Down came the red carpet, and the Emperor's royal guards who were marginally better at aiming than ZED- Troopers. Then - the Emperor appeared. 

He was shrouded in black, shuffling, hunched over. There were a thousand rumours as to his appearance, ranging from a terrible battle with the Dreamers of long ago to a mishap at the plastic surgeon's. Whatever the reason, the Emperor was hideous to see. If he revealed his face. 

But he did not do so right now. Only his voice, his evil, cackling voice, could be heard throughout the huge bay as he greeted Darth Yale. 

"Rise, my friend. I would talk with you." Darth Yale rose from his knees and began to accompany his master past the assembled troops. Commander Blalock was there, sweat beading on his forehead, and behind him was the legendary Admiral Maiett. 

The Emperor, however, did not acknowledge any of these people. He had his own malevolent agenda to keep and even a spunky young admiral would not distract him. 

"The Death Star will be completed on schedule, my master," breathed Darth Yale. 

"Yeth, I know," replied the Emperor. Darth Yale pretended that he didn't hear the prominent lisp. The Emperor was in need of some good elocution lessons. "You have done well, Lord Yale," he continued, "and now I thense you wish to continue your thearch for young Thoulwalker." 

"Yes, my master," said Darth Yale. he internally continued. Darth Yale had a dream. A dream of freedom, no, that wasn't it, a dream of domination and power. A dream where he would kill the Emperor once and for all. 

"Patience, my friend," hissed the Emperor. "In time, he will theek *you* out. And when he does, you must bring him before me. Only together will we turn him to the dark thide." 

"Yes, my master," said Darth Yale. Again. 

"Everything is proceeding as I have forseen it," cackled the Emperor as the pair ran out of docking bay to walk through and the scene faded to black. 

*** 

Aluko parked his X-Wing with a flourish and jumped into the misty swamps of planet Day-glo-blah. The colours around here were shocking - bright oranges, yellows, and greens, no wonder the planet had the name it did! 

It was enough to keep *anyone* away. And that was why the mysterious Dreamer Master had remained undetected by the evil Galactic Council. No one could stand to look at the hideously coloured planet for too long. 

Aluko pushed through the trees. There, he could see it. The house of his mentor, one so proficient in contacting the Dreamplane. One who was, in essence, part of it himself. 

Ulda. 

The old Dreamer stood smiling by the door of his cottage as Aluko approached. Ulda was short, green, and thin, but he could reach the Dreamplane in a way few ever could. He had a wiseness about him that was beyond compare. 

"That face you make," said Ulda once Aluko was seated. "Look I so bad to your young eyes?" 

"No, Master, of course not!" Aluko lied. 

"I do, yes, I do!" chuckled Ulda gleefully. "Sick I've become, yes! Old and weak. The Syndrome..." 

"I thought the Dreamplane healed you," cut in Aluko. Ulda just smiled with wise acceptance. 

"When *nine* years old you reach, look as good you will not!" 

Aluko had his own ideas about that. Why, he was two hundred and could still drive women on countless planets wild. He was, after all, Aluko Soulwalker! 

Ulda hobbled over to his bed, still chuckling although every so often, his body shuddered as he struggled to draw in a breath. "Soon I will rest. Yes, forever sleep. Earned it, I have." 

Aluko shook his head. It was incredible how Ulda managed to speak backwards all the time. Aluko had tried it once, but had ended up with a knee in the groin for messing up a critical sentence. And it had been one of his best pick-up lines, too. 

Ulda suddenly began coughing and choking again, reaching desperately for his inhaler. Aluko watched with troubled eyes. 

"You can't die, Master Ulda. I won't let you!" 

"Strong in the Dreamplane am I, but not that strong. Twilight is upon me, and soon night must fall. That is the way of things...the way of the Dreamers." 

"But I need your help!" Aluko insisted. "I came back to complete my training." 

"No more training do you require," Ulda assured him. Aluko suppressed a small sigh of relief. He'd had enough of swimming through the bright yellow swamp. "Already know that which you need." 

"Then I am a Dreamer?" asked Aluko, suddenly hopeful. But no, something was missing. 

Ulda gently laughed again, which turned into a coughing fit. Where was the pretty doctor when he needed her? "No, not yet," he managed in response to Aluko's question. "One thing remains. Darth Yale. Yes, you must confront Yale. Then, and only then, will a true Dreamer you be." 

Aluko grew quiet. This, the final test, was one he never hoped to face. He struggled with his emotions, but finally, Aluko realised that he must ask the question, the one that had haunted him ever since the terrible confrontation in Cloud City. The question that would irrevocably affect his destiny forever. 

"Master Ulda," he began hesitantly, "is Darth Yale my-" and he took a deep breath" -Uncle's sister's ex-husband's twice-removed cousin's illegitimate son's droid's grandfather's friend's assistant's stepmother's dog's twin's nephew?" 

Time seemed to stand still, and Ulda turned away. "Rest, I need rest," he muttered. 

Aluko stared with compassion at his dwindling teacher, trying to give the old one strength merely by force of his love and own will. "Ulda, I must know," he whispered. 

"Your uncle's sister's ex-husband's twice-removed cousin's illegitimate son's droid's grandfather's friend's assistant's stepmother's dog's twin's nephew he is." 

Aluko closed his eyes in horrible acceptance. 

"Told you, did he?" Aluko nodded. "Unexpected this is. And unfortunate." 

"Unfortunate that I know the truth?" Aluko spat bitterly. His anger wasn't directed at Ulda, but more at the universe at large for putting him in this terrible position. 

Ulda gathered himself with an effort that seemed to take all of his strength. "Unfortunate that you rushed to face him, that incomplete your training was. Not ready for the burden, were you." Ulda began to cough again, thinking fondly of the days when he had an immuno-suit. But those times were long gone, and he had to struggle on alone. 

"You must face Yale again," Ulda managed. Aluko had to lean close to hear his words. "Remember, a Dreamer's strength flows from the Dreamplane. You must find G889, and restore the Dreamers to the side of light. 

"Beware of anger, fear and aggression," cautioned Ulda as his strength continued to fail. "The dark side are they. Once you start down the dark path, forever will it dominate your destiny." 

As it had Darth Yale, so long ago. 

"Aluko... of the Emperor beware. Do not underestimate his powers, or suffer your uncle's sister's ex-husband's twice-removed cousin's illegitimate son's droid's grandfather's friend's assistant's stepmother's dog's twin's nephew's fate will you. When gone am I, last of the Dreamers you will be. Aluko, the Dreamplane is strong in your family. Pass on what you...have...learned..." Ulda began to falter, and closed his eyes. "Aluko, there is... another... soul..." With that, Ulda closed his eyes and exhaled, his spirit passing into the Dreamplane with a rush that touched Aluko. His body shivered once, and then he disappeared. 

A single tear trickled down Aluko's cheek for what he had lost. Then anger began to fill him. What did Ulda mean, 'there is another soul'? Did he have to go on a quest to find the lost soul? Eerie strains of the music of "Star Trek III - The Search for Spock" drifted to Aluko's ears and he shuddered. No, please, anything but that! 

He shivered and walked outside into the relentless garish colours of Day-glo-blah at night. Sighing, Aluko patted R-True on the head and she whimpered sympathetically. 

"I can't do it, R-True," he said. "I can't go on alone." 

A voice drifted down to him from the mists. "Yoda and I will always be with you." Aluko scrambled to his feet, to seek out the mysterious voice. 

"Terri-Wan!" 

Aluko's old teacher stood in the swirling green mists, tall and strong. Terri-Wan cocked his head to the side, a gesture Aluko found so familiar. He carried a staff-saber similar to that of Aluko's, and trilled a soft greeting before switching back to English so the readers of this story could understand this conversation. 

"Terri-Wan," said Aluko again, his voice full of pain, "Why didn't you tell me? You said that Darth Yale was a criminal reform gone wrong!" 

Terri-Wan sighed heavily, sad that these revelations had been made. It was true that Darth Yale contained serious programming errors which led to the manifestation of evil within the cyborg. Admitting to Aluko that Darth Yale hadn't always been evil, Terri- Wan cautioned him, "He's more machine than man, twisted and evil." 

"But I can't kill my own uncle'ssister'sexhusband'stwiceremovedcousin'sillegitimiteson'sdr oid'sgrandfather'sfriend'sassistant'sstepmother'sdog'stwin's nephew!" whined Aluko, taking lessons from a character yet to be introduced. 

"Then the Emperor has already won." 

"Ulda spoke of another..." Aluko was grasping at straws by this point. He certainly didn't want to involve himself in another fight-to-the-death with Darth Yale. Think of what he had lost the last time! 

"The one Ulda spoke of is your great granddaughter," Terri-Wan revealed. 

"But I have no children..." protested Aluko, his mind whirling. Wait a minute, their had been that brief fling with Julia way back - how many hundred years ago? Damn the cold sleep runs! 

And if Julia had given birth to *his* child, and the child married and had more children, and so on... Who else did he know with dark hair like his? 

"Devonleia!" exclaimed Aluko. "Devonleia is my great granddaughter!" 

"Your insights serve you well," Terri-Wan said with a hint of pride. "Bury your feelings deep down, Aluko. They do you credit, but could also be made to serve the Emperor." 

Aluko sat back, his mind whirling. He'd always felt close to Devonleia, in fact, they had kissed several times. And they were *related*??? Uh oh... 

Terri-Wan was speaking again, and Aluko tore his mind from the inappropriate thoughts and listened to his former teacher. 

"You cannot escape Destiny, Aluko. You will have to face Darth Yale again..." 

*** 

Darth Yale uselessly tried to scratch his ears, but failed miserably in the attempt. His ears were burning, which meant one of three things : either someone was talking about him; or there was another bug in his programming; or the silky-smooth ear comforters in his helmet needed replacing again. Darth Yale suspected the third option - those comforters *never* lasted long. 

Impatiantly, he watched the elevator doors slowly open until he was finally able to enter the Emperor's throne room. Even at a distance of twenty metres, Darth Yale could still smell the cheese- like scent of the Emperor, and wished his master would take a bath once in a while. But there was a shortage of baths (and water) here above G889. They all had to live with it. 

Darth Yale knelt at the Emperor's throne. "What is thy bidding, my master?" he asked, holding his breath. Strange, when he wasn't making that awful hissing noise the eerie music seemed to die away as well. 

Taking his time to respond, the mysterious Emperor finally said, "Send the fleet to the far side of G889. There it will stay until called for." 

"And what of the rebel fleet massing near Scully-UST?" 

"It is of little concern," cackled the Emperor. "I have a very trustworthy spy in their midst..." Even now, he tapped his nearby computer console and watched the flow of data to the screen. "Soon, Eden Alliance will be crushed," he predicted evilly, "and young Soulwaker will be one of us." 

*** END G889 WARS (5/?)


	3. Chapter 3

In a remote corner of the galaxy, Julipio stood alone trying to work out a very puzzling dilemma. What exactly was a corner of the galaxy? As far as her programming assured her, the galaxy was spherical in shape, so it *couldn't* have any corners. Unless Julipio had been lied to all of her life and the galaxy was square. Or rectangular. Or maybe even rhomboid. Julipio could almost believe that she *had* been lied to. The Galactic Council's web extended everywhere, and she had a sudden feeling that they once controlled her... 

Julipio stared outside into the stars, lonely. She missed R- True, even if the little screamer was a pain in the -!- more often that not. Most of all, though, she missed Aluko Soulwalker. Missed the way he grinned at her in the mornings, missed the way he treated her kindly instead of telling her to shut up (as almost every other sentient being did unless they wanted her medical expertise. Then they were almost sickeningly polite. She did, after all, know six million different illnesses, but it was enough to drive a droid insane - if her programming would allow such things.) 

Outside Julipio's viewport, hundreds of ships drifted in and out of view. Eden Alliance had massed their forces near the Scully-ust system, containing the planet Sullust on which a short, red-haired woman ruled. She was a confirmed non-believer in the Dreamplane, but that didn't mean a thing to her countless admirers. 

According to the rumour mill, Eden Alliance would make a final attack against the Galactic Council soon. (It was a well established fact that gossip and rumours were the fastest things to travel throughout the galaxy. Another great mystery for Julipio to fuse her circuits over, trying to figure that one out.) 

A gentle chime sounded, which was pleasant relief from the all-too-frequent sounds of blasters and explosions which seemed to dominate Julipio's life. Julipio followed the masses of people flowing down the hallway, and eventually found herself in the main briefing room for Eden Alliance. 

Looking around, Julipio could see most of her 'friends' already seated. There was Dan Zolo, Princess Devonleia, Bessbacca and Bainso Calrissian, who had *finally* changed into a clean pair of pants. The golden-haired droid hurried across to join them just as Mon Magus entered the room. 

Mon Magus was well respected by many members of Eden Alliance. With a short crop of hair, she had a distinct *presence* amongst the people, and was significant as the only female background character with actual lines in either of the two environments she had been formed from. 

"The Emperor has made a critical error, and the time for our attack has come," announced Mon Magus, her voice clear and true. All of Eden Alliance listened in growing excitement as Mon Magus told of the upcoming attack against the Galactic Council's new Death Star. Mon Magus's voice was hushed as she made the final announcement. "Most important, we have learned that the Emperor himself is personally overseeing the construction." 

A collective gasp went across the room. A chance at the Emperor! Many had been putting in target practise for *years* for this! (Shooting ZED-Troopers didn't count, because they were hardly difficult to hit.) However, the creatures soon quietened as Admiral Alvar, a Hot Calamari Ring, stepped forward and explained the relatively 'simple' plan of attack. An advance team - code named Eden Advance - would land on the planet to prepare for the arrival of the rest of the ships, and this task included knocking out a guarded shield generator. Following the accomplishment of this, the rest of Eden Alliance would follow, sending smaller ships into the heart of the Death Star and blowing up the main reactor. 

Julipio studied the schematics of the Death Star carefully. "I say, sir," she began, "wouldn't it be more economical to simply remove the third circuit of the seventeenth conduit from the sixty- seventh access shaft..." 

The Admiral cut her off with a *look*. He'd hoped no one would notice that rather easy solution. He preferred dangerous, life-threatening tasks rather than easy-Trek conclusions. Besides, space battles, shooting and a huge explosion were always *so* much more fun. 

Clearing his throat, the Hot Calamari Ring went on. "General Calrissian will lead the fighter attack." 

"Good luck, buddy," said Dan, turning to his friend. "You're gonna need it." 

Admiral Alvar yielded the floor to yet another Eden Alliance member, who revealed that the Death Star was in fact situated above the legendary planet G889! Ignoring the collective gasp, he went on to detailed the plan involving a stolen Council shuttle - the Tymorgantoatree. 

"I wonder who they've found to pull that one off," Princess Devonleia said darkly, leaning close to Dan. An incredulous expression crossed his face just as the officer called out, "General Zolo, is your strike team assembled?" 

Ignoring the dirty look from Devonleia for not telling her sooner, Dan got to his feet. "My squad is ready," he hedged, "but I need a command crew for the shuttle." He looked to his hairy companion and said, "It's gonna get rough, pal. I didn't want to speak for you." 

Bessbacca instantly barked her indignance, and signalled that she was definitely to be part of the mission. Smiling, Dan said, "That's one." 

"Make that two," Devonleia added quickly. She didn't want to let Dan out of her sight after all they'd been through so far. 

"And I'm with you, too!" called a voice from the back of the room. Everyone turned, to see Aluko Soulwalker joining the gathering. Devonleia raced across the room to embrace him, and Aluko held her close. She felt a warmth, a connection, between them, and there was something in his face that disturbed her. 

"What is it, Aluko?" she asked softly, staring deep into his soulful Soulwalker eyes, her own eyes flashing just as soulfully. 

"Ask me again sometime," he replied equally quietly, then he broke the connection and pulled away. 

Dan Zolo, however, had not missed the brief interlude. "Nice to see you," he said with more than a hint of sarcasm which neither Devonleia nor Aluko picked up on. Bessbacca growled happily, and R-True, who had tagged behind Aluko, squealed. 

Looking fondly to her short little friend, Julipio replied, "I don't think 'exciting' is the word to describe it." She felt a chill seep through her metal body and in amongst the brief happiness, the golden-haired droid shivered. 

*** 

"Take her, I mean it!" Dan was repeating insistently to Bainso in the docking bay of the Eden Alliance frigate. Bainso shook his head once again. 

"But I insist!" Dan protested. Why couldn't Bainso accept his offer? "She'll bring you luck..." 

That was the final straw. Bainso whirled around to face Dan and said, very slowly and deliberately, "I am *NOT* taking Julipio with me! Do you understand? Luck?" and Bainso laughed sarcastically. "I'll be lucky if she's not spying on me right now." 

"Julipio? A spy? Come off it, man, she's the only doctor- droid we've got. And she's not bad looking either, if you get my drift." 

"I can find my own women, thank you very much," replied Bainso hotly. It was true he'd been alone for a while, but Bainso sensed a change coming, a change in the form of someone called...Mary? Mara? He shook his head, the vision was not quite clear. Bainso sometimes wished he was a Dreamer, but then again, he'd probably be too scared on the Dreamplane. 

Dan sighed heavily. He liked Bainso, he really did (so why did he keep having to tell himself that over and over? Wasn't Bainso the one who locked him in Carbonite in the first place? Something wasn't quite right...) 

"Then why don't you take the Millennium Transrover?" Dan offered before he became too confused. Mechanics and smuggling made sense, but when it came to any kind of relationship, friendship or otherwise, Dan was at a complete loss. 

"Oh no, I couldn't." Bainso didn't want to be responsible for *that* hunk of junk, and he knew it would break down the moment they needed to go somewhere. 

"You *know* she's the fastest ship in the fleet," enticed Dan. Baineso sadly realised that Dan was telling the truth, and what a sorry truth it was. "All right, I'll take her!" he finally relented. Anything to get Dan off his back. "I'll take good care of her," Bainso continued. "She won't get a scratch. 

Dan's expression changed as he realised he'd just handed the Millennium Transrover, *his* ship, over to his old friend-turned- enemy-turned-friend. "I've got your word - not a scratch," he said darkly. 

"Will you get out of here, you old pirate!" Bainso laughed. "I'll take care of her, I promise!" 

With a final look at his ship, Dan nodded and then headed out of the docking bay. Bainso gave a sigh of relief. Dan was *really* getting on everyone's nerves lately, and Bainso attributed it to women trouble. In particular, Princess Devonleia who had been making eyes at both Dan *and* Aluko. She was so obvious sometimes. 

Bainso jogged up the ramp to the Transrover's unopened hatch. "Vehicle, open," he instructed. The hatch did not move. "Vehicle, unlock." 

No change. 

"Hey Dan!" Bainso yelled. "How do you get her to open?" 

Dan stopped midstride, then smacked one hand to his forehead. "It's locked!" he shouted back. "Use the unlock code!" With that Dan continued his march out of the docking bay. 

"HEY DAN!" Bainso yelled again, only louder this time. 

"WHAT?" 

"WHAT'S THE UNLOCK CODE?" 

By this time, every one in the docking bay had paused in their work to watch the absurd communication. 

"THE WHAT?" 

"THE UNLOCK CODE!!!" Bainso was fairly screeching, a sound worthy of R-True herself. Everyone shuddered. 

But at least Dan understood him. Frowning, Dan struggled to remember the code. It was significant to him, the name of the planet of his ancestors, if only he could remember what it was... 

"DANZIGER!" he roared. 

"DAN*ZING*ER?" Eighty percent of the other spaceships parked in the docking bay suddenly unlocked with the shouting of the word, and their owners groaned. Who wouldda thought so many others would use the odd password? 

"NO, DAN*ZIG*ER!" shouted Dan. 

"RIGHT!" 

Bainso turned to face the Millennium Transrover and roared the word. "DANZIGER!" 

"No need to shout," replied the Transrover peevishly in a voice eerily reminiscent of a certain elderly Betazoid woman. "You could have simply asked *me* for the code." 

Bainso's jaw dropped. A talking space ship? Now he'd seen (well, heard) everything. He sighed, and marched up the ramp. 

*** 

The five brave heroes gathered in the cockpit of the shuttle Tymorgantoatree. Behind, in the storage compartment, was the rest of the strike team, grumbling and complaining about their lack of screen time when obviously they were *so* important to the plot. 

Dan Zolo, flying the ship, ignored the murmuring. He glanced at Bessbacca; then to Devonleia, Aluko and Julipio, and asked, "Ready?" 

The trio immediately broke into song. 

"We're off to G889! 

The wonderful planet that was! 

Because, because, because, because, be-caaaaaaauuuuusssseee! 

Because of the wonderful things it does..." 

 

"La la, la la, la la!" added Julipio happily. Dan groaned. *Where* had he found these people? Oh right, *they* had found him. Maybe it would have been better if he stayed in Grendler's palace. Anything was better than their torturous singing, and even Bessbacca had added her own musical howls and grunts. 

It was going to be a helluva long trip. 

 

Hours later, after the group had sung their way through not only the entire score of "The Sound of Music" but several other films as well (including Aluko's personal favourite, "The Muppet's Treasure Island") the Tymorgantoatree finally approached G889, and the Death Star. One by one, the singers lowered their voices and stopped until only Julipio was left, accompanied by R-True's desolate whistles from the cargo hold. 

"And IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII will alllllwaaaays... loooooooovvvvvvvvveeeeeeeee yooooooooooooooooouuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!" she finished, looking beseechingly at Aluko who blushed. Sometimes Julipio got a little too much, even for him. And what was she doing singing, anyway? It seemed out of character for her - the reserved droid who was completely honest and dependable. Wasn't she? 

The Tymorgantoatree, under Dan'z skilful control, was brought carefully out of hyperspace. The Death Star loomed, a giant half- constructed monolith hanging in space before them. 

The Council Star Destroyer "Allabouteve" was the first to notice the rogue shuttle. A low level tech controller followed standard procedure when he heard the unknown voice over his gearset. 

"Shuttle to control, please come in." 

"We have you on our screen now," the controller said. "Please identify." 

"This is shuttle Tymorgantoatree, requesting deactivation of the deflector shield." 

The tech looked around nervously. Did he *really* get another line? But he didn't even have a name! His voice trembling with excitement, he continued, "Shuttle Tymorgantoatree, transmit the clearance code for shield passage." 

"Transmission commencing." 

On board the Tymorgantoatree, tension was high as Dan began the code transmission. "Now we find out if that code is worth the price we paid," Princess Devonleia said darkly. She scratched at her head, annoyed with the latest hairpiece she was wearing. It itched something awful. 

Bessie whined nervously, her hands (or paws) clawing uselessly at her face. She seemed to do that a lot when she was agitated or nervous. 

And Aluko - Aluko was staring straight ahead, a look of quiet horror on his handsome face. "Yale is on that ship," he whispered. 

"You're just jittery, Aluko," reassured Dan. "There are lots of command ships out there. What makes you think the 'Allabouteve' is special?" 

Aluko closed his eyes, and received a flood of images. He could see cyberspace! And Darth Yale, and a ball... And he knew without a shadow of doubt that Yale *was* there, waiting for him. "I'm endangering the mission. I shouldn't have come," Aluko said softly, almost to himself. But Devonleia heard his words, and took his hand in a comforting gesture. 

Dan was focussed on the path ahead. "Bessie, let's keep our distance. But don't look as if we're keeping our distance." 

Bessbacca barked an inquiry at Dan. 

"I don't know - fly casual!" 

But if the code wasn't cleared, both Dan and Bessbacca knew there was no escape. 

Lord Darth Yale stood imperiously on the bridge of his personal Star Destroyer. He watched the progress of one small shuttle and smiled grimly to himself. There was something *familiar* about that shuttle. 

He strode down the stairs to the shuttle control station, where an unnamed tech was nervously pushing buttons while Admiral Maiett watched over his shoulder. 

"Where is that shuttle going?" 

The tech, with stars in his eyes, opened his mouth for an unprecedented *fourth* line without being shot by a phaser. Er, make that a Magblaster. He'd *really* been in Trek too much. 

However, Maiett beat him to it, and the tech seemed to shrivel in his seat, the dreams of glory crushed. 

"Shuttle Tymorgantoatree," said Admiral Maiett in a clear voice, "what is your cargo and destination?" She wasn't in the least worried by the presence of Darth Yale. Maiett was the only Imperial officer to have *not* been choked to death by him, even when Aluko Soulwalker managed to slip away from her. There was a growing rumour that Darth Yale had the hots for Maiett... 

However, Admiral Maiett was unaware of all of this. She had worked hard to get the often-envied rank of Admiral and had even higher goals in mind. Such as eventually overthrowing the evil ones and bringing in a new era for both G889 and its inhabitants. It was rumoured that she was a part of the secret society E2:EA, whatever *that* was. 

The shuttle voice finally responded to Maiett's query. "Parts and technical personnel for the planet G889." 

Maiett looked to Darth Yale for further reactions. "Do they have a code clearance?" he asked, his breathing quickening with the nearness of the Admiral to him. 

"It's an older code, but it checks out," Maiett replied. "I was about to clear them." She ran a hand through her glossy red hair that went down to her knees and could be a lethal weapon if swung properly. Maiett was completely unaware of the effect she was having on Yale, who's respirator could barely keep up with his quickened breathing. "Should I hold them?" 

Control, I must regain my control, Darth Yale told himself. With supreme effort, he took a step back and said, "No, no...yes! Bring them in and I shall see to them personally!" This was his big chance to impress Maiett once and for all. 

"As you wish, my lord," she replied and expertly caught the shuttle in a tractor beam. 

Darth Yale and Maiett strode down to the "Allabouteve" 's docking bay, where the small shuttle had fought a valiant battle against the tractor beam and lost. 

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++ END G889 WARS (6/?) 

 

Has the author lost her mind and suddenly warped into the plot of "A New Hope"? Find out in your next installment of G889 WARS, coming soon to all good mailing lists!


	4. Chapter 4

G889 WARS (7/?) by Nic (stardestiny@bigfoot.com) 

See notes and disclaimer in part 1. 

Previously... 

The intrepid members of Eden Alliance have decided to make an all out assault against the evil Galactic Council and their powerful new weapon, the Death Star. A small group of rebels (code named Eden Advance) made their way to planet G889 in a stolen shuttle, the Tymorgantoatree. 

Unfortunately, Darth Yale with the help of his spunky assistant, Admiral Maiett, have managed to capture the Tymorgantoatree and are bringing it into the docking bay.... 

 

GGGGG 88 88 9999   
GG 88 88 88 88 99 99   
GG 88 88 88 88 99 99   
GG 88 88 99999   
GG GGGG 88 88 88 88 9   
GG GG 88 88 88 88 9   
GGGGGG 88 88 9 

WW WW A RRRRRR SSSSSS  
WW WW WW AA AA RR R SSS   
WW WW WW AA AA RR R SS   
WW WW WW AAAAAAA RRRRR SSSS   
WW WW AA AA RR R SSS  
WW WW AA AA RR RR SSS   
W W AA AA RR RR SSSSSS 

 

Everything was silent, save for the sound of Darth Yale's ominous footsteps on the cold metal and that damn annoying music. Admiral Maiett was right behind him, prepared for anything. They reached the shuttle. 

"Open it!" commanded Yale in his deep, booming voice. Two low level techs hurried to comply. 

"My lord," began Maiett tactfully, "I think you should step back. The enemy may be armed and I don't want to see you getting hurt." 

"But what about my body block?" protested Yale. 

Maiett silently groaned. Darth Yale had a *thing* about his body block and was never going to let it go. 

"All I'm saying, my lord, is that you should allow me to greet the enemy. After all, I do have my hair to defend us with," continued Maiett, tossing her head. Darth Yale stared at his young aide, and finally allowed her to take the lead. 

The pair stepped carefully into the shuttle. It seemed to be empty. Maiett wandered further inside, until she eventually heard a noise. A muffled, confused groan.... 

Captain Picard from eight hours in the future was lying, prone on a bed. He heard Maiett approach and opened his eyes. "I have to leave the ship!" 

Maiett sighed. Darth Yale sure wasn't going to like this one. 

Meanwhile, on the far side of G889, the shuttle containing the members of Eden Advance wobbled crazily, and eventually crashed into the planet. R-True screamed all the way down. 

*** 

Seventeen figures surreptitiously crept through the forest of G889, heading west to New Control Bunker which they were to sabotage. Thanks to Aluko's 'assistance' in piloting, they'd crashed several hundred kilometres from their destination and now had to hike there on foot. At the front of the group was Princess Devonleia, slightly daunted by the task that lay ahead but smiling optimistically and getting on everyone's nerves an awful lot. 

Dan Zolo followed close behind her, grimacing as yet another tree branch smacked him in the face. He couldn't wait to get off this planet, but for the time being, he had to stick it out. 

Another feeling claustrophobic was Aluko. He didn't like being planet bound and had an eerie feeling that he wouldn't stick around very long. Yet the Dreamplane, so ultimately powerful on G889, called to him and he wondered *why* he had been chosen. Surely the role would have fit Bessbacca so much more? 

"We're never gonna get there in time," whined Wall-man from the back of the group. For some reason, the line sounded wrong coming out of his mouth. Almost as if it belonged to someone else, someone they were destined to meet on this journey. 

Incredibly, they hiked across plains and through snow, around mountains and past great rivers in an extremely short amount of time that could be attributed to the speed of the sunrise, sunset, and clouds travelling through the sky. 

Finally the intrepid Eden Advance reached another forest full of giant trees and eerie beast sounds such as purring and chittering. According to Devonleia's maps, they would arrive at New Control Bunker very soon. 

Bessbacca and Devonleia, who had become remarkably close during the journey, reached the crest of the hill first. They dropped to the ground and crawled forward, the others silently following their lead. 

Aluko and Dan also reached the front and looked down to see two speeder bikes innocently parked amongst the trees. 

"Should we try and go around?" whispered Devonleia. 

"It'll take time," Aluko replied, shaking his head. 

"Yeah, and if they catch sight of us then this whole party's for nothing," added Dan, peeking from behind a rock. He gradually slid forward, hidden by the underbrush but getting closer to the scout camp all the time. 

"Stay here," he whispered. "Bessie and I will take care of this." He flashed his most charming smile and headed into the clearing. Aluko and Devonleia looked at each other and silently groaned. 

Ever so carefully, Dan sneaked up on one lone ZED-Trooper. He was prepared to quietly knock the trooper over the head, but as he approached the target, Dan Zolo stepped on a twig. 

As the snapping noise echoed through the clearing, Dan looked down in horror. The ZED-Trooper immediately swung around and began to attack Dan. All pretences of surprise were lost. 

A second trooper jumped onto his speeder bike, but was quickly shot down. Unfortunately, the noise alerted even *more* ZED-Troopers hidden in the next clearing. Eden Advance was stumbling across an awful lot of people for a supposedly uninhabited planet. 

Realising that all would be lost if *any* of the troopers spilled the beans on Eden Advance's location to the Galactic Council, Devonleia jumped on a conveniently spare speeder bike, prepared to follow the escaping troopers. 

"Wait...Devonleia!" called Aluko, racing after her and only just managing to leap onto the back of her bike. Dan watched this little interlude, jealously boiling in his veins until a persistent ZED-Trooper attacked him *yet* again. Geeze, didn't a guy deserve a break? 

Dan and Bessbacca finally managed to subdue the remaining ZED- Troopers, then sat down and were joined by the rest of Eden Advance. Waiting for Devonleia and Aluko to get back. 

Princess Devonleia felt as if she were flying. Now she felt she understood Aluko much more. He had often told her how much he loved to fly, either in an X-Wing or on the Dreamplane. She gunned the engine of the speeder bike, wondering why she hadn't bothered learning to drive well before this time. 

Wind blasted past her as she steered the bike through the trees, ducking under fallen logs and around huge bushes. Aluko clung to her for dear life, having to duck several times to ensure his head wasn't taken off. 

"Isn't this great?!" shouted Devonleia. Aluko's reply was lost beneath the roar of the engine. The princess raised one hand to her head, checking the hair glue. Luckily, Julipio had synthesised a new batch that was guaranteed to keep even the most slippery of wigs in place. And if it didn't stay, well then, Aluko would end up with a face full of hair pretty soon. 

Snickering as she imagined it, Devonleia caught sight of one of the ZED-Troopers up ahead. She glanced at the bike's dashboard, and noticed a big red button that was labelled "Shoot". Again Devonleia thanked Gaal that ZED-Troopers were so stupid. (She didn't contemplate the possibility that the button had been put there for *her* benefit because the bike manufacturers had read the script ahead of time.) 

Devonleia's speeder bike whizzed along, until it was finally on a direct line with her quarry. She hit the red button, and the speeder bike exploded. 

"All right!" shouted Aluko. He spied two more ZED-Troopers on bikes, and leaned across Devonleia to steer in their direction. Devonleia was mildly surprised that Aluko had managed to keep his hands to himself so far, instead of the usual 'accidental' bumps. Perhaps he *had* learnt something on the bog planet he liked to visit. 

More ZED-Troopers began to pursue Aluko and Devonleia from behind, and the pair realised it would be pertinent to split up. Aluko executed a daring manoeuvre in which he jumped from one bike to another, and he quickly dispensed of the Trooper. 

Shooting and twisting through the trees, Devonleia and Aluko managed to turn the peaceful forest into a battleground. Devonleia was down to one ZED-Trooper when it happened. Her hair slipped. 

"NO!" she shrieked, reaching up both hands to grab it. The speeder bike spun out of control, tipping upside down and dumping Devonleia unceremoniously on the forest floor before exploding into a tree. The ZED-Trooper laughed so hard that he forgot to watch where *he* was going. Chalk another one up for Eden Alliance. 

Aluko's luck was not much better. He'd become so focused on pursuing the final Trooper beside him that he didn't watch where he was going either. At the last moment before he became permanently part of a tree, he jumped. The Trooper's bike swung around for another pass, but Aluko was ready with his staff-saber. He easily deflected the laser bolts coming towards him, and then neatly sliced the rudder from the bike. Another explosion rocked the forest. 

And then all was silent. 

Wearily, Aluko looked around him. There were no more signs of ZED- Troopers, in fact, there was no sign of life at all. He sighed as he thought of the enormous distance he'd travelled, realising he now had to hike all the way back to Eden Advance. 

The young Dreamer switched off his staff-saber and took a step forward. Then stopped. There was a chittering, and a movement in the bushes. Almost as if there was a creature hidden in there.... Pushing aside the shrubbery, Aluko stopped dead. There was a whole family of the most darling creatures he had ever seen! He reached out a hand to touch one... 

...and heard a projectile fly through the air. There was a stinging in his leg, and then everything went black. 

*** 

"Let's start over!" suggested Julipio brightly, hoping for some response. "One hundred thousand bottles of beer hanging on the wall...." 

R-True squealed indignantly at Julipio, and the golden-haired droid trailed off. "You seemed so excited when I began the song last time," she said sorrowfully. R-True beeped again, quite rudely this time. 

"Monotonous? Listen, 'True, someone needs to keep things optimistic while Devonleia's not around." 

"Yeah, but does it *have* to be you?" complained Dan. Bessbacca growled in agreement. Julipio decided to keep quiet from now on. The waiting was agony. It seemed as if the group had been waiting in this one spot forever. 

Julipio stared sadly into the forest, praying for the moment that Aluko would walk through those trees. In fact, the bushes were moving right now. Julipio could hardly believe her eyes. He was back! 

"Aluko!" she shouted, trying to jump to her feet but her joints had become a little rusty during the time spent sitting down waiting for the adventurers to return. 

"Aluko!" echoed everyone else sitting in the clearing. Except for Dan. He was angry. How had Aluko managed to get through their perimeter alert, unless...Wall-man was sleeping again. Dan groaned. 

"I'm back," Aluko announced, rather unnecessarily. 

"Took your time," grumbled Dan. "We've been sitting here for two days waiting for you and the princess!" 

"Two days?" repeated Aluko dumbly. "I was only gone for a few hours." 

"Not by my watch," stated Dan. 

Aluko sighed. "Man, I knew I blacked out for a while, but two days?" He paused, remembering something. "I must've been stung by some animal." Absently scratching his leg, Aluko continued, "One moment I was prepared to walk back, and the next thing I knew was waking up with my face buried in leaves." 

"Let me check you out," offered Julipio, struggling to her feet. She never missed an opportunity to play doctor with Aluko. Soon, she realised that Aluko had been essentially dead for the past two days. She thanked her maker that he was alive now, and gave him an awkward hug. 

Aluko's mind, however, was on someone else. 

"Where's Devonleia?" he asked. 

"Wasn't she with you?" 

"We got separated!" Aluko exchanged a grim look with Dan, adding, "We'd better go look for her." 

No one heard Wall-man's snide comment about wasting time sitting around waiting for Aluko as he lead the rest of Eden Advance to New Control Bunker and the heroes began to search the forest. Devonleia had been out there for two days now, and they were worried. 

But they needn't have been. For Princess Devonleia had met the kobawoks. 

Two days earlier, Princess Devonleia had lain in a pool of water (or was that drool?) in the midst of the dark, green forest. Strange alien cries had echoed around her, and the shuffling of creatures through the undergrowth never stopped. 

She groaned. After being thrown from her speeder bike, she'd landed in the muck and passed out. Her entire body ached and there was a distinct, unhealthy smell about. But that wasn't what had woken her. It was something quite different.... 

"Ouch!" burst out Devonleia as a spear poked her in the backside yet again. "Quit it!" 

Something grunted in response, and Devonleia finally found the strength to sit up. Holding her head (because she was a little dizzy and nauseous) she turned to face the creature. And gasped. 

Standing before her was the most *adorable* creature Devonleia had seen in her entire life. A kobawok. And his name was Morget. 

The princess's mouth dropped open at the sight of him. While only a few feet tall, Morget stood proudly, his extra-long kobawok fur pulled back into a ponytail (and Devonleia reflected that the style would suit Bessbacca extremely well). A strip of metal was tied around his forehead and it glinted in the sunlight. 

What Devonleia noticed most, though, was his quirky shuffling from foot to foot, almost as if he were agitated about something. 

Trying to straighten her back, Devonleia involuntarily groaned again, and Morget jumped back in fright. He stumbled backwards, tripped and fell. "Eeeep!" Morget squeaked. 

Devonleia finally took stock of her situation. While she hurt all over, nothing seemed to be permantly damaged. However, she was lost in the middle of a forest and, at Dan'z suggestion, had left her gear behind. The princess groaned again. 

That did it for the kobawok. He was tired of this -thing- intruding on his territory, and making horrible noises to boot! He lofted his spear high and circled the princess, jabbing it in her direction. 

"Hey, cut that out," said Devonleia with annoyance. That was all she needed - to be skewered by an overgrown teddy bear (even if it was a particularly lovable one). She added, "I'm not going to hurt you." 

Morget grunted as Devonleia climbed to her feet to survey the area properly. "Don't be afraid," she said softly to Morget who had skittered away from her once he realised how much taller she was than he. 

Devonleia sighed when she saw the damage to the speeder and sat down on a fallen log. "I guess I'm sort of stuck here," she said to Morget. She didn't know why, but Devonleia felt that Morget would understand being stuck in the wilderness miles from her destination. "And I don't even know where here is." 

Morget growled sympathetically, and clambered to sit beside her. Devonleia reflected that he would get along just *great* with Bessbacca, as each seemed to have a language consisting only of grunts and rumbles. 

Tiredly lifting her hand to her hair, Devonleia realised that it was still askew. More than that, the delicately woven strands had become seriously dishevelled. Awkwardly, she tried to pin it back in place. 

That was the moment when Morget's eyes lit up. Hair troubles? He was an *expert* in doing hair, whether it be his own or that of a curly-haired girlfriend. He jumped to his feet and, grunting softly, excitedly began to re-braid Devonleia's hair better than she herself could ever have mananged. 

"Thank you!" the princess said, surprised. It had been so long since she'd had a man (well, a male) do her hair for her, and it was a nice experience. Morget chittered away as he worked, examining Devonleia's head from all angles until he achieved, what he was sure, a perfect balance. 

Eventually, Morget had achieved perfection. He pulled a mirror from his belt and held it out to the princess and she smiled with approval. Yes, there was definitely something special about this kobawok. 

Sniffing the air, Morget suddenly stiffened. He tugged desperately on Devonleia's hand and they tumbled beneath a log just in time to miss the worm-bullet fired at them from a lone ZED-Trooper. Peering over the log, Devonleia aimed to fire back, but suddenly the Trooper was beside her with a gun pointed directly at her head. 

Devonleia froze. Had she come this far to have it all end now, alone, in the dark, with no one around? No one to mourn her name, or place her memory on a pedestal? 

But someone else was willing to risk his life for hers. Morget. He fought every impulse that told him to run away screaming in terror and pulled a knife from his belt. Hesitantly, he poked it at the ZED-Trooper. 

The momentary distraction was enough for Devonleia to grab the Trooper's gun and blow him away. Brusequely dusting off her hands, Devonleia announced, "Serves him right. He should know better than to mess with a princess!" 

Morget growled in agreement, a little overawed at her powerful presence. Then he overcame his inhibitions and took her hand, leading her off into the forest and towards his home. Morget was looking for a wife. 

*** 

End G889 WARS (7/?) Yes, it's *still* going!


	5. Chapter 5

G889 WARS (8/?) by Nic (stardestiny@bigfoot.com) Notes and disclaimer in part 0. 

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When we last left our heroes, the intrepid Eden Advance were scattered across G889.   
Princess Devonleia had met an adorable kobawok named Morget as Dan Zolo, Aluko Soulwalker, Bessbacca, Julipio   
and R-True continued their search for her. In the meantime, Wall-man led the rest of Eden Advance to New   
Control Bunker. And well beyond the realm of G889, Bainso Calrissian was preparing for an all-out assault   
against the Galactic Council, hoping to destroy both Darth Yale and the mysterious Emperor whose identity had   
been kept a secret for many years. Will our heroes succeed? Only time (or knowing the plot of "Return of the Jedi")   
will reveal the answer.... 

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Darth Yale stepped out of the elevator and into the Emperor's throne room. The cables and conduits hummed either side of the shaft, sending an eerie glow over the whole room. The light, however, was not nearly as frightening as the hooded emperor's green, glowing eyes that spoke tales of evil possession. 

His joints groaning (for Darth Yale was *old*), he knelt before the Emperor while valiantly accessing his memory banks for a clue as to just *why* he was so old. There were sections of Darth Yale's mind locked away from him, but one thing he did know was that he hated Eden Alliance with a passion. A passion that was to be their undoing. 

"Rise and speak, my friend." Yet there was no tone of friendship in the Emperor's malicious voice. Yale stood, almost overpowered by the stench of the Emperor's body, and began to speak. 

"My master, a small Eden Alliance force has penetrated the shield and landed on G889." 

"Yeth, I know," cackled the Emperor, rubbing his hands with glee. "My spy has worked well, and she shall be rewarded when the time comes." 

Yale nodded gravely. Then he revealed the rest of his message. "My brother's sister's ex-husband's twice-removed cousin's illegitimate son's droid's grandfather's friend's assistant's stepmother's dog's twin's nephew is with them." 

The Emperor froze, seemingly surprised. How had this got past him, he, the one who had controlled Dreamers for years and knew everything there was to know about G889? Worse still, *why* hadn't his spy warned him of this? Her loyalties lay with him, the Emperor, he was sure. She would have no reason to protect Aluko - or would she. "Are you sure?" the Emperor asked, hoping not to betray his surprise. 

"I felt him, my master." Darth Yale felt a sudden sense of power. Aluko Soulwalker's might on the Dreamplane was a cause of worry for both Yale and the Emperor, yet Yale couldn't help but want to say "nyah, nyah, nyah!" to the Emperor for at the moment, *he* was the more enlightened of the two. 

"Strange that I have not," replied the Emperor in a low growl. "Perhaps your feelings are not entirely clear on the matter." The Emperor would say anything to regain the upper hand. 

"They are clear, my master." The two evil ones stared at each other, locked in an unending battle of will against will. The moment seemed to last forever until one of the Emperor's guards, standing to the side, fell over with sheer boredom. His helmet cracked loudly against the metal floor and everyone turned to stare. The moment was broken. And the actor playing the guard was fired on the spot. 

"Then you must go to G889 and wait for him," the Emperor finally conceded. 

"He will come to me?" Darth Yale sincerely doubted that. The last time he'd seen Aluko, the Dreamer had been crying and screaming in an effort to get away. What a wimp. Ah, reflected Yale, those days on Cloud City were glory days, when he'd had Princess Devonleia in his cell and Admiral Maiett on his ship. And that annoying Dan (who always seemed to steal the ladies) frozen and out of harm's way for good. 

The Emperor finally nodded in response to Darth Yale's question. "I have forseen it. The boy will come to you, and you will then bring him before me," he lied, for how could he have possibly forseen Aluko's coming to Yale if he didn't even know that Aluko was going to be on G889? 

His mind screaming, "NITPICK!", Darth Yale bowed low. "As you wish." He left the throne room and left for a shuttle, hoping that the annoying Captain Picard was disposed of by now. Then again, he could always find a different shuttle. They were so easy to come by, as he had learnt from watching his favourite VR-program, "Voyaging". Like Darth Yale, the crew had lost so many shuttles that they'd lost count but, by an inexplicable somehow, the shuttles kept coming. 

It was another cosmic mystery. 

*** 

Five key characters picked their way through G889's jungle, many of them cursing with every step. Aluko was feeling particularly nervous, not wanting to be stung by another one of those cute but lethal kobawoks. 

It seemed they'd been searching for Devonleia for hours, up hills, down through valleys, and even through a haunted biosphere where Aluko was *sure* he'd seen Bainso's future girlfriend Marya. But it was not the time to think of ghosts of the past or the hereafter. Both Dan and Aluko were desperate to find Devonleia, a sense of machoism guiding each man because they didn't stop to think for a moment that the princess could take care of herself. 

Eventually, they came to a small clearing littered with the remains of speeder bikes and ZED-Troopers. Devonleia had done well for herself. The group spread out to inspect the rubble, but much to their relief, they found no trace of the princess except for several strands of hair, courtesy of Morget's sensational trimming and styling. 

Dan gently cradled the dark lock in his hands, wondering how it would taste. He'd quite enjoyed the buns she used to wear. In the meantime, R-True scanned the area and reported that there were no other signs of Princess Devonleia's presence. Aluko heaved a sigh of relief at that. She wasn't dead. And perhaps he would get the chance to tell her the truth (and apologise for kissing her, a relative, while he was at it). 

No one noticed Julipio slipping into a secluded grove of trees, but everyone heard Bessbacca's sudden growls as the Wookiee raced through the woods, extremely excited. The group followed her lead and skidded to a stop in front of what was obviously a trap, except not one of the travellers noticed until it was too late. 

Bessbacca, Dan, Aluko, Julipio and R-True gathered around the twisted red corpse strapped unceremoniously to a stick in the midst of another small clearing. No one thought to take note of the strands of rope on which they now stood, another clear indication of the snare. 

"What is it?" asked Julipio, voicing the collective question. 

Bessbacca was growling excitedly, having been without food ever since she ate that Delicious Crumb so long ago. And boy, had *he* given her a stomach ache. She'd regretted eating him ever since, but here, finally, was the chance to eat something that didn't speak a whole sentence because it was already dead. She reached out to grab a strip of meat just as Aluko said, "No wait! Don't-" 

And the trap was sprung. A huge net pulled up around all five travellers and they were hoisted high into the trees, pressed together more closely than they'd ever been in their lives. Julipio quite enjoyed being so close to Aluko, however, Dan was more than a little nervous at the other man's closeness. *Something* metallic was pressing into him.... Dan had never heard the full story of what Aluko lost at Cloud City but he had his suspicions. Suspicions that were raised to new heights of anxiety as the five twisted and turned in the confines of the rope net. 

"Great work, Bessie, always thinking of your stomach!" grunted Dan in an effort to retain some sense of normality about the whole situation. 

"Take it easy!" called Aluko. 

~Easy for you to say, pal,~ thought Dan darkly. ~You're not the one with somethin' scary pushing into your leg!~ 

"Let's just figure out how to get out of this thing," continued the eternally chirpy Aluko. He reached for his pocket but had no luck, being wedged between Julipio (and what *was* she doing to the back of his neck anyway?) and Dan. "Can anyone reach my staff-sabre?" 

R-True was oblivious to all the others, even Bessie who was beside her. The short droid whipped out her handy mechanical saw and began to cut through the ropes, a solution making perfect sense to her. 

Meanwhile, Dan was reaching backwards to grasp the staff-sabre from Aluko's waist. "Almost got it..." he grunted just as R-True cut through another piece of mesh and the entire group crashed to the ground. 

Something snickered. 

As the group gradually regained their senses, sat up and reassured themselves that nothing was broken, one by one they realised they were surrounded by twenty or so cute, furry creatures; all brandishing evil-looking claws. 

Aluko turned deathly pale. "That - that's the thing that shot me!" Everyone gave Aluko a *look* that clearly said: Stop being so wimpy! He did. 

One of the kobawoks came closer to Dan and he angrily pushed aside its poison fingernail. "Point that thing somewhere else!" he snapped. A second kobawok lunged, this one with more deadly intent. Dan moved to draw his pistol, but was stopped by a restraining hand on his arm. 

"Don't - it'll be alright." For Aluko finally had the chance to truly look at these creatures, and sensed a peace amongst them. Using his Dreamer powers, he realised that the kobawoks wouldn't intentionally shoot someone and put them out for two days; that had been nothing more than a misunderstanding. Why, kobawoks were his friends! 

So why were they still pointing claws at Eden Advance? Bessbacca growled suspiciously. These kobawoks looked like cousins of hers but could she trust them? 

R-True and Julipio were just extracting themselves from the collapsed net as the kobawoks began chattering between themselves, obviously trying to decide what to do. Aluko turned to the golden- haired droid, saying, "Julipio, can you understand what they're saying?" 

Julipio rose from the net, checking herself for dents or rattles. "Oh, my head," she moaned. 

At the sight of her fully upright body, the kobawoks increased their chittering to an almost frenzy-like pace, pointing and gesticulating excitedly. After a moment's intent listening, Julipio offered a greeting. The kobawoks were awed. 

Suddenly, one of the kobawoks dropped his aim with a gasp and flung himself on the ground before the shiny droid. In the next moment, every other kobawok did so (save for one hiding behind a bush). They began a chant, raising their arms up and down in a praise-like ritual. 

Bessbacca let out a puzzled bark and R-True squeaked. 

"What did you say to them?" demanded Dan. 

"Hello, I think," replied Julipio almost apologetically. "I could be mistaken, they're using a very primitive dialect...I believe they think I'm some sort of god!" 

Bessbacca burst out laughing. Dan shook his head wearily. "Well how about usin' your divine influence to get us out of this?" 

Julipio pulled herself up to her full height. "I beg your pardon, Captain Zolo, but that wouldn't be proper." 

"Proper?!" burst out Dan. He always knew that the pompous droid would go too far someday - and this might well be the day. 

"It's against my programming to impersonate a deity," Julipio replied even as she secretly revelled in the adoration. Now *this* would make Aluko notice her! 

Dan moved towards the droid with a menacing look on his face. "Now listen you pile of bolts, if you don't-" He broke off as fifteen kobawok fingernails were thrust menacingly in front of his face. Dan backed down without another word as Aluko suppressed a laugh. Things were definitely getting more interesting! 

 

*** 

The procession of kobawoks and captives through the forest was a sight that would be long-remembered by the inhabitants of G889. The sun had nearly set now, and the long, forbidding shadows added an air of quiet gloom to the forest. Yet the kobawoks were perfectly at home here, in their great realm untouched by the corruption of outsiders for so many years. 

On their shoulders, the kobawoks carried their four prisoners - Aluko, Dan, Bessbacca and R-True - tieed to long poles, wrapped around and around with thick vines so that there was no possibility of escape. R-True was particularly uncomfortable with the immersion in greenery; she'd much rather be surrounded with mechanical gadgets as was her nature. 

And behind the unlucky four, Julipio, borne on a litter of rough-hewn branches in the shape of a chair, was carried high upon the shoulders of the sweet, giving kobawoks. She surveyed the mighty forest and internally smiled. This feeling of adoration, of loyalty, it was like nothing she'd ever experienced before. Even when she was receiving accolades from one of her masters (her evil creators) for a job well done. 

She graciously glanced down at her subjects and nodded to them, sending some of the younger kobawoks into frenzies of joy. However, there was one kobawok who was behaving a little -oddly-. Morget hung to the back of the group, and every time Julipio looked around, she was *sure* he quickly stopped doing whatever he was doing and bowed his head. 

Morget had a plan. Of course he was deliriously happy that the promised god had come to G889 - what kobawok wouldn't feel some sense of joy? But Morget had a great scheme in mind. He was tired of being some fourth-level hairdresser. It was time for him to move up in the world. 

He realised that, no matter how tempting it seemed, Julipio could never make a good wife for him. Morget realised he would have to keep searching, but then again, there was that pretty princess back at the village whom he'd earlier saved. There was a sense of status assigned to being married and Morget couldn't wait to partake in the ritual vows. If only he could convince Devonleia.... 

And what better way to show Devonleia how talented and intelligent he really was than to carry out his new scheme brilliantly? Julipio, this golden-haired wonder, had made it all possible. 

Never had Morget seen anything so *shiny* as Julipio. And he *knew* the price that metal, even lowly scraps, went for on G889. It was rare and precious, and Julipio was full of it. 

Lifting his cute little arms, Morget again began sizing Julipio to the best of his ability. Her hair, those golden tresses, now *they* were the best asset. Sure to be worth millions on the underground kobawok market. As for the rest of her, well, Julipio couldn't possibly object to selling off a few body parts, could she? Gods were meant to be benevolent, loving and giving, willing to do anything for their loyal subjects. 

And Morget intended to take full advantage of that trait. He hummed to himself in his little growly voice, and danced a happy Grendler jig when he thought no one was looking. Finally, he would be set for life! 

*** 

Eventually, Aluko realised he was beginning to feel dizzy. It was a sensation akin to that of hanging from the bottom of Cloud City and the Dreamer felt a surge of panic rush through him. No, he couldn't be back there, could he? He opened his eyes and it was dark, a good sign, he supposed. He'd been Dreaming for the past few hours during the arduous journey and it had proved a good form of escapism from the swinging and jostling while tied up, travelling through the forest. 

Aluko tilted his head to survey his surroundings. He almost gasped as he realised where they were now - high above the forest floor, in a tree-top kobawok village. It was one of the most incredible places he'd ever seen. Kobawoks by the hundreds poured out of their huts to greet the returning warriors and their captives, and they gasped at the sight of Julipio. New songs of worship broke out and Julipio felt more loved than she'd ever felt in her life. 

A fast and furious conversation broke out between the kobawok chief, Kitty, and the ragamuffin hunt leader. Morget hid behind a tree, listening closely, and upon discovering that Julipio was not to be hurt, retreated to his hut to mentally count his future profits. And perhaps he would put on one of his favourite metal headbands and have one of those really cool dreams, like the one where he sat in front of a huge, ten course dinner. Morget licked his lips just thinking about it. All that broccoli! 

Outside, the kobawok chittering finally stopped and they marched towards their captives. One by one, they checked out the prisoners, examining Aluko's clothing, smelling Dan (and quickly recoiling), poking R-True (she screamed indignantly at that) and finally, studying Bessbacca. A frenzy of chitters erupted as the kobawoks fingered the Wookiee's fur, eventually deciding that she was a mutated form of their own species. 

However, this was not to save Bessbacca from the fate of the rest of the group. It seemed to cement it even more. The kobawoks quickly piled stacks of logs and kindling underneath the four propped up captives and wielded evil-looking burning branches. 

Julipio turned to the kobawoks and Chief Kitty, and amidst more chittering and gesticulating, attempted to understand what was going on and convince them to untie her friends. 

Yet the kobawoks could not be swayed. "Well, what did he say?" demanded Dan. The circulation in his wrists had been cut off for so long that he doubted if he'd ever be able to wield a mag- blaster again. 

"I'm rather embarrassed, General Zolo, but it appears you are to be the main course at a banquet in my honour." Dan groaned, and before another word could be spoken, drums began beating in ominous syncopation. Chief Kitty stepped forward, wearing a garland of woven leaves, teeth and horns of animals he'd bested in the hunt. On his right hand was the biggest, most evil looking claw anyone had ever seen, and in his left hand he held an iguana. Iguanas on G889 were special and this one was Chief Kitty's pet and personal adviser. 

Chief Kitty surveyed the scene, then turned to wait for the guest who was only now emerging from the hut behind him. A visitor, whom, as tradition decreed, was to stay in the chief's hut until she was appropriately mated. Princess Devonleia. 

"Devonleia!" Aluko breathed with relief. 

"Devonleia!" Dan shouted incredulously. 

"Your highness!" offered Julipio, remembering protocol. 

"Rahrhah!" growled Bessbacca happily. 

"Beep...deeDweep!" screamed R-True. 

They had found her. 

 

With a gasp of delight, Princess Devonleia rushed towards her friends, only to be stopped by a phalanx of claw-wielding kobawoks. "But these are my friends!" she protested as she noticed the firewood. "Julipio, tell them that they must be set free!" 

Amidst the clamour of excited kobawoks, Julipio tried, but Chief Kitty shook his head. The piles of wood increased. 

"Somehow, I get the feeling that didn't help us too much," said Dan darkly. He wanted to strangle the kobawoks, particularly the one that was now hovering behind Devonleia, a slightly *shifty* expression on his face. Dan had the inkling that the kobawok would do anything to ensure his own safety and happiness at the expense of everyone else. One thing was certain: Dan Zolo did *not* like the little runts. 

Aluko finally came up with a plan. It had taken him a while, but he had only just realised that as the hero of "G889 WARS", it was *his* duty to get his friends out of whatever danger they were in. After his abysmal failure on Cloud City where it turned out that everything he went through was useless and only hindered their escape, Aluko was still looking for ways to prove his worth once and for all. "Julipio," he began, "tell them that if they don't set us free, you will become angry and use your magic." 

"But Master Aluko, what magic? I couldn't possibly-" 

"Just tell them," cut in Aluko. There were times when Julipio tried even *his* Dreamer patience. 

Again, Julipio began an eloquent explanation, ending with, "Boom!" The kobawoks -and in particular, Morget- only laughed and continued their work of producing a bonfire bright enough to burn the pants off even the most hotshot pilots of Eden Alliance. A burning stick was poked dangerously close to Dan'z face and he ineffectively tried to blow it out, hyperventilating in the process. Bessbacca growled nervously as her precious fur was singed. 

"See, I told you they wouldn't believe me!" burst out Julipio, wallowing in self pity. She should have known that the adoration the kobawoks held for her was nothing more than that - simple infatuation, and it didn't mean they would respect her any more than her makers did. It seemed that her friends were toast after all. And Chief Kitty was hungry. 

Aluko closed his eyes. The music of the Dreamers soared as he reached for the spirits of his ancestors...um...the spirit guides on the Dreamplane. He wanted to follow in the ghostly footsteps of Terri-Wan and Ulda, to use the mystical powers for good only. And lifting Julipio to free himself could only be good, couldn't it? 

Julipio began to emit terrified squawks as her throne was lifted into the air. "Help! Help!" She spun gracefully over the throngs of kobawoks, gently guided by Aluko and the Dreamplane. Chief Kitty shouted orders to the cowering minions, and they quickly ran forward to release the captured members of Eden Alliance. As Julipio was set back down, Aluko, Dan and Devonleia ran together, enfolded in one long, powerful embrace. Dan kissed Devonleia and she joyfully responded. This, it seemed, was their first true victory ever since crashing on G889, and they could only hope that it bode well for the future. 

After delivering a few swift electrical jolts to those who'd tied her up, R-True chased after Chief Kitty, seemingly captivated by the little kobawok. R-True had always wanted a pet. 

And Julipio, bewildered by everything, stood with an amazed look in her eyes. "Why, I never knew I had it in me!" Then the annoying communicator in her stomach buzzed and the joyous mood was destroyed for her. Darkness was coming. 

*** END G889 WARS (8/?)


	6. Chapter 6

G889 WARS - The Christmas Part! (9/?) By Nic (stardestiny@bigfoot.com) 

*** Everybody sing now! "What can you buy a Wookie for Christmas...? When (s)he already has a comb!" Ah, the joy of Christmas music and in particular, "Christmas in the Stars", an album full of gems like the above tune! And in the spirit of joy and happiness, I present to you.... 

G889 WARS - The Christmas Part. 

 

The weary travellers had crammed their bodies inside one of the kobawok's largest huts and were now surrounded by the adorable little critters. Devonleia sat close to Dan, leaning into his shoulder. She'd missed him during the days spent in the kobawok village. Yes, she was continually pampered by Morget, but there was something comforting about having a real man beside her. 

Morget still hovered close to the couple. However, his attention was focussed elsewhere. With a gleam in his eyes, he studied the golden-haired droid who stood in the centre of the hut and re-enacted thrilling scenes of Eden Alliance's battles. 

First came the roaring of the assault against the Galactic Council's first Death Star. They had enjoyed a grand victory and when they went back and reviewed the tapes, noticed that a Trekkish shockwave had been created. All of Eden Alliance felt quite proud of their accomplishments. Only Bessbacca frowned at the re- enactment because here they were, three years later, and *she* hadn't received a medal yet. 

Julipio continued her narration, speaking of the battles on the ice planet Wintercamp; Darth Yale's insidious breathing; the tragedy at Cloud City. As Morget listened to the eloquent explanation, he felt a sudden wave of compassion for poor Dan and wrapped his arms around the man's legs, stroking up and down. Dan shifted uncomfortably. He didn't need some little rodent patting his leg - it was enough to make any man nervous. 

Upon completion of the tale, Julipio listened intently to the kobawoks agitated chitter, led by Chief Kitty. She then turned to her friends and, with a huge smile in her voice, announced, "We are now a part of the tribe." 

"Just what I always wanted," said Dan sarcastically. He looked at the celebrating furry animals (which unfortunately included Bessbacca) and sighed heavily. After all these years, Bessie finally seemed to be at home. 

Devonleia ruffled Morget's fur and smiled at the happy scene. She hadn't been so content in ages. All of her near and dear friends in one place, full of laughter and music (even if the drumbeat was a little repetitive). 

Devonleia felt an overwhelming sense of family, here amongst the trees with her new allies and trusted companions. Why, it was almost like Christmas! All they needed were a few fairy lights and upon glancing outside, Devonleia noticed a few of these strung up in the trees. She secretly smiled, wondering if the kobawoks would join her if she began to sing. She knew many famous Christmas carols of the universe, including "All I want for Christmas is a Working Transrover" and "Hark! Hear-old Yales sing!" Her personal favourite, thought, was about silverwear. Devonleia hummed quietly to herself, imagining the words. 

"Jingle knives! Jingle forks! Jingle silverwear! 

Oh what fun it is to raid a thieving Grendler's lair...Hey!" 

As she opened her mouth to launch into song, a firefly flew into it, causing her to cough and splutter until she spat the offending bug out. It flew crazily across the room, bouncing from R-True and finally knocking a kobawok out the window. No one noticed. 

The one thing Devonleia did notice, however, was Aluko Soulwalker, slipping out quietly from the festivities. A dark cloud loomed on his proud countenance and Devonleia could *not* just sit there while Aluko was hurting. As much as she loved Dan, she had to admit that Aluko Soulwalker was *everyone's* type. 

 

Dan had finally prised Morget from his leg and was surveying the scene. He was tired of being at the mercy of the kobawoks and decided to take control of the situation. This naturally involved Julipio, the wonderful translator who all too often told them just how useful her skills could be. Dan tapped her on the shoulder. 

"He said the scouts can show us the quickest way to the shield generator," Julipio said in anticipation of Dan'z question. 

"Good. How far is it?" A moment's hesitation was enough to betray the fact that Julipio didn't know. "Ask 'em," Dan insisted. 

Julipio turned to Chief Kitty. 

Dan tapped her on the shoulder. 

"We need some fresh supplies too." 

Julipio turned back. 

Dan tapped her on the shoulder. 

"Try and get our weapons back." 

Julipio turned. 

Dan tapped. 

"Hurry up, will you? I haven't got all day! 

Julipio turned. And promptly fell over. She then realised how dizzy she had become from all the tapping and turning, why, it was enough to drive any person insane! 

Dan shook his head in exasperation. Droids could be so frustrating! 

Now if only one of them had an iced tea, it could have been love. But as fate would have it, Chief Kitty handed Julipio a root beer, made from the great roots of the LumaLite tree. It was reputed to be one of the nicest tasting drinks on the planet. The other, well...a frog croaked, sounding suspiciously like "Bud". 

(Okay, I hear you, enough of the bad jokes and obscure references!!! Back to the story.) 

Drinks were passed around to most of the kobawoks, and they shared the Christmassy cheer. After only one small sip, R-True immediately decided that she, too, was a kobawok and attempted to climb the nearest tree. With Morget and Bessbacca urging her onwards, she managed to reach the fifth branch above the wooden balcony and squealed with excitement. She'd never had so much fun. R-True counted to three (the best she could with her limited range of beeps and screams). The little droid then hurled herself downwards, landing in a huge furry cuddle of arms and legs. Happiness was everywhere. MERRY CHRISTMAS! 

*** 

Devonleia followed Aluko out to a dimly lit walkway between the great trees, where a gentle breeze rustled the leaves and promised a quiet harmony to the night. He had paused, staring out into the great dark beyond the trees, yet Devonleia knew that he wasn't really searching for night creatures. His eyes were haunted. 

"Aluko, what's wrong?" she asked softly. He surprised her with a question. 

"Devonleia, do you remember your-" He broke off, not finishing the sentence. Why should he concern himself with Devonleia's mother? It was her great-grandmother he had once cared for, the beautiful Julia who was long lost in the ravages of time. 

"Tell me about your family," Aluko finally compromised. Her answer shocked him. 

"They all died when I was very young," she said sadly. "I am the only one left of the once proud...uh..." She swore silently under her breath. Her title had been Princess Devonleia for so long that she'd forgotten what other names she once had! It had been a real tongue-twister, too. **See end note** 

"Tell me about your family," Aluko pressed. 

"I don't remember that much," replied Devonleia. "Just images, really, and feelings..." 

"Tell me." 

"They were all very beautiful. Gentle and kind - but sad." Just as Devonleia was sad this beautiful night. She felt as if the trees were leaning closer to learn the secrets and surround them in a shroud of darkness. Luckily, these trees had lost their ability to walk around several years earlier. 

"I have no memory of my family," Aluko revealed, his voice heavy with regret. "I never knew most of them." 

"Aluko," Devonleia said with compassion, reaching out to touch his arm. "Tell me what's troubling you." 

He stared at her for one long moment, gazing on the beautiful face that would soon be out of his reach forever. He knew he could trust her. "Yale is here. On this moon." 

The words were said with such darkness and foreboding that they sent a momentary chill through Devonleia before she felt her irritation begin to arise. She'd lost track of the number of times she had told people that not all Yales were dangerous. For all they knew, Darth Yale could be a very nice person underneath the insidious black mask. 

But the question that remained, though, was how did Aluko know that he was on G889? Devonleia asked him. 

"I can feel his presence. He's come for me." 

There were several ways to interpret the final sentence and Devonleia was drawn the explanation of fear. Aluko looked so scared as he revealed that Darth Yale was after him again. After the last time.... Yet there was more to his words, something the princess could not quite identify. 

"I don't understand," protested Devonleia. 

"He can feel it when I'm near," Aluko concluded. He took Devonleia's hands in his, willing her to understand him. She felt her heart beat faster as she looked into those dark, intense eyes. "I must leave you, Devonleia. As long as I'm here I'm endangering the mission." His hands were trembling. "I have to face Yale." 

She shook her head hard. "Why?" 

"He's my uncle's sister's ex-husband's twice-removed cousin's illegitimate son's droid's grandfather's friend's assistant's stepmother's dog's twin's nephew." 

The momentary shock and revulsion upon Devonleia's face was enough to cause Aluko to wish that he hadn't told her. Yet the moment passed, almost as if it had never existed. 

"Your uncle's sister's ex-husband's twice-removed cousin's illegitimate son's droid's grandfather's friend's assistant's stepmother's dog's twin's nephew?!?" she repeated, doing incredibly well to recall the exact relationship. 

"There's more, Devonleia. It won't be easy for you to hear, but you must." Aluko's eyes flashed soulfully as he stared at her, knowing that his next few words would destroy their flirting relationship forever. For a moment he entertained the possibility of hiding the truth, but knew it wasn't possible. For when gone was he, last of the Dreamers would Devonleia be. 

"If I don't make it back, you're the only hope for Eden Alliance," Aluko told her gravely. 

" 'Luke, don't talk that way," Devonleia protested, albeit half-heartedly. She had secret dreams of being a hero, but they had become lost along with her once-fiery personality of previous adventures. "You have a power I don't understand, and could never have!" 

"You're wrong, Devonleia. You have that power too. The force of the Dreamers is strong in you. In time, you'll learn to use it as I have." 

Devonleia shook her head again, denying the words. Everyone was equal, that was what she believed! "Aluko, what's come over you?" 

"Devonleia, the force of the Dreamers is strong in my family. My uncle's sister's ex-husband's twice-removed cousin's illegitimate son's droid's grandfather's friend's assistant's stepmother's dog's twin's nephew has it. I have it...and...my great-granddaughter has it." 

"Yes, Devonleia," he continued, seeing the confusion in her eyes. "It's you." 

"Oh no!" Not Aluko, the hottest looking Dreamer she'd seen this side of G889? (Never mind that he was just about the only Dreamer on planet, besides Terri-Wan, but few would ever call him *cute*. He was too Earthy.) Returning her thoughts to the fact that Aluko was her great-grandfather, Devonleia fumed. It wasn't *fair* that they were related! Swallowing her pride, she offered, "Somehow I've always known." 

"Then you understand why I must go." 

"No, Aluko, run away from here! If he can sense your presence go away from this place." She took a deep breath. "I wish I could go with you." 

"No you don't." Dang, he knew when she was lying. There was something odd about the way parents could do that. "You've never faltered. When I and the others have faltered, you've always been strong." 

"Aluko, why? Why must you confront him?" He was being selfish, Devonleia rationalised, telling her this piece of news and then running from her. For the first time in years she had found part of her family and he was leaving her! Just like everyone else had. 

Aluko could give only one answer to the troubled princess. "There's good in him," he said softly. "I've felt it. He won't turn me over to the Emperor. I can save him! I can turn him back to the good side of the Dreamplane." Aluko's eyes were wild for a moment, torn by conflicting passions. "I have to try. He's our-" Aluko contemplated coming out with the mouthful again, then shrugged indifferently. No one was probably reading the dialogue anyway. "He's our relative." 

Aluko leaned in to gently kiss her one last time and then slipped into the shadows. Tears began to slide down Devonleia's cheeks as she watched after the man she loved and had lost. She didn't turn as Dan'z footsteps echoed on the wooden planks beneath their feet. 

"What was that all about?" he asked in his typical direct manner. Devonleia, overcome by tears, could not answer. Dan grew angry. He felt the overwhelming urge to punch out Aluko again, and even now, his fists grew into balls of power. 

"Could you tell Aluko - is that who you could tell?" 

"I - I..." She turned to the trees, feeling so alone. Dan stared at her for one long moment, prepared to walk away and leave her to her misery. If she couldn't make up her mind as to who she loved, then he'd leave her to it. 

But then Devonleia pleaded, "Hold me." And Dan did, feeling the love surge through his soul and pledging to stay by her side no matter what happened in the future. He loved her. And they both knew it. 

No one had noticed Julipio slipping off after Devonleia and Aluko as soon as Dan left her alone. The golden-haired droid monitored every word they said and then prepared to make her latest transmission to the Emperor. 

"Citizen P.O. checking in," she whispered. A holographic ball of light sprang from her arm, the treacherous figure of the Emperor surrounded with an eerie glow. 

"How nice of you to contact us," he sneered evilly. "How long did it take you - five weeks?" 

"More like five minutes," she replied darkly, just quiet enough so that her words were not heard. 

The figure of the Emperor still managed to glare at her. "And what are the latest developments with Eden Advance?" The final two words were said with contempt dripping from his voice. 

"They are proceeding to New Control Bunker and should be there just after daybreak." Julipio saw no reason to mention the alliance with the kobawoks - after all, what possible harm could the adorable creatures cause? 

"And what of young Soulwalker?" the Emperor hissed. 

"Who?" Suddenly, Julipio began trembling. She had protected Aluko for so long from the Galactic Council, hadn't even told them that he was on planet! 

"Citizen, I know you have lied to me. Several times, in fact. If you continue to lie, then..." The Emperor's voice grew dark. "Then I will not allow you to wear a Santa hat this year!" 

No Santa hat? Julipio's face crumpled. No, that was a fate worse than brushing Bessbacca's tangled fur! The golden-haired droid apologised quickly. "I'm sorry, my lord." 

"You must realise that the Council is more important than your friends," the Emperor commanded. "We gave you a life. We own you. Do you understand that?" 

Julipio nodded dolefully, then proceeded to inform him that Aluko was on his way to Darth Yale and the Emperor himself. The transmission momentarily cut out and Julipio was left alone with her guilty thoughts. 

She sometimes despised her part in the Galactic Council's plot, but they were the ones who had constructed her in a scrap metal yard so many years ago. It was her duty to infiltrate Eden Advance (which she had done very successfully) and continually keep tabs on their activities. 

But how she hated herself for it! Every day, when she looked at Aluko, that strong, handsome face, the magnificent physique, she wished she could sever all ties with the Council and be free. Free to love someone, free, perhaps, to even be loved back. 

"Transmission ended," buzzed Julipio's small transceiver and she shuddered. For all she knew, she was sending Aluko to his death. 

"No..." she quietly whispered to herself. And then, despite all beliefs that a droid was unable to cry, Julipio did. 

 

\---------- END G889 WARS (9/?) 

 

  
** AUTHOR'S NOTE: Historical records were traced at great personal cost to this author, to determine the true name of Princess Devonleia. It is here revealed for the first time: Senator Ms Princess Devonleia Adair Organa Soulwalker Zolo (The final name resulting from her eventual marriage to Dan Zolo. The author apologises if she just wrecked the ending.) 

For a full explanation of each individual title, I invite you to read my forthcoming novel, "An Analysis of Mythical and Fantastical Names", Destiny Books 1998. Princess Devonleia's name is granted two full chapters of exposition and examination. ** 

If you would like the answers to such scintillating questions as What *can* you buy for a Wookie when he already has a comb; or if you simply want to compliment me on my work ;), I can be reached at stardestiny@bigfoot.com MERRY CHRISTMAS EVERYONE!!!


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> G889 WARS (10/?Will this ever finish?) 
> 
> By Nic (stardestiny@bigfoot.com) April, 1998 and April, 1999 
> 
> Okay, okay! I hear you - it's been a while since I wrote some of this. Too long, actually. Like...over a year??? (Nic ducks guiltily!) 
> 
> Anyway, with the hype regarding a certain film (ohmygoshlessthan2monthstogo!!!), I have been re-inspired. *S* On the incredibly unlikely chance that you've forgotten what's happening, how about a quick recap? 
> 
> TheevilGalacticCouncilistryingtorulethegalaxyandEdenAlliance(thegoodiesforthoseofyouwhocan'ttell)areattemptingtooverthrowtheCounci landDarthYaleandthemysteriousEmperorinparticular. AfterrescuingtheirfrozenfriendDanZolofromGrendlertheHut,ourheroesrendezvousedwiththerestofEdenAllianceandgeneratedadeviousplan.Followingsomesmallinterludesofromance,conversationandgeneralinsanitywhichinvolvedRTruescreamingloudlyandastrangepasswordfortheMilleniumTransrover,EdenAlliancemanagedtosendasmallteam(codenamedEdenAdv ance)tothereveredmysteryplanetG889whereanewanddeadlyDeathStarwasbeingcreated. LedbyPrincessDevonleiaandAlukoSoulwalker,EdenAdvancemetagorgeousraceoffurrycreaturescalledkobawoks,withwhomtheyhavenowalliedthemse lves. EverythingwasinreadinessforthebattleatNewControlBunkerwhenAlukosu ddenlydecidedhehadtogofacehisuncle'ssister'sex-husband'stwice-removedcousin'sillegitimateson'sdroid'sgrandfather'sfriend'sassistant'sstepmother'sdog'stwin'snephew,akaDarthYale.Meanwhile,JulipiothegoldenhaireddroidhasbeenspyingonEAandreportingbacktotheEmperor.EAisintrouble,bigtime.... 
> 
> Got all that? No? ::Sigh:: I'm not going to repeat myself, you know. You'll just have to rent the movie "Return of the Jedi" and imagine the characters with different faces. Or you could whiz over to my lovely website and get caught up on all the parts you've missed! http://www.reocities.com/Area51/Vault/8356/fanfic.htm 
> 
> Of course, the highly intelligent people on this list will already have parts 1-9 saved on their harddrive in an undeletable directory. (Or maybe I have an over-inflated ego. Nah, not possible! Someone as perfect as me doesn't have an ego!) ;) Ahem. Maybe I should just get back to the story.
    
    
          GGGGG        88        88       9999 
         GG          88  88    88  88    99  99  
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        GG   GG     88  88    88  88       9    
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     WW          WW     A       RRRRRR     SSSSSS
      WW   WW   WW    AA AA     RR   R    SSS    
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         WW  WW      AA   AA    RR  R         SSS
         WW  WW      AA   AA    RR  RR       SSS 
          W  W       AA   AA    RR  RR   SSSSSS  
    
    

Dawn was fast approaching. Darth Yale strode along the lower deck of the landing platform, acutely aware of the trees that surrounded him. A pine scent managed to slip through the filter of his breath mask and he grimaced as best he could without getting his nose squashed out of shape by the ridiculously small nose- space. Darth Yale didn't like trees, nor did he like their smell. It reminded him of *something* terrible in his past, before the- 

He heard a noise. Instantly, he knew who it was. His brother's sister's ex-husband's twice-removed cousin's illegitimate son's droid's grandfather's friend's assistant's stepmother's dog's twin's nephew was coming, he could feel it. He could sense it. Darth Yale even knew what Aluko was getting for Christmas, because he had felt the younger man's presents. 

Aluko was very close now. Idly, Darth Yale wondered which Aluko he would see this time. The last time they had met, Yale had been witness to "Screaming, Scared Aluko". It had not been a pleasant experience. He'd been prepared for "Cocky Pilot Aluko" (with matching flight helmet) or even "Unbearably Cute Aluko" (with the cute little behind), but not the snivelling mess he was actually confronted with. Darth Yale snorted, just as "Jungle Aluko" came swinging through the trees on a long green vine and landed lithely on his feet before Darth Yale. Just like a kobawok. 

Before Darth Yale had a chance to move, a ZED-Trooper rushed into the shot and quickly placed manacles on the Dreamer. This was the Trooper's big chance to impress Darth Yale and he wasn't going to miss it! (Never mind that he had been on night watch, attempting to shoot flying squirrels and the likes from the trees but had somehow missed Aluko's break-in attempt.) 

"This Rebel surrendered to us, Lord," the ZED-Trooper said, hastily improvising. "Although he denies it, I believe there may be more of them, and I request permission to conduct a wider search of the area." 

Darth Yale was immensely annoyed. His eyes narrowed, and if he could have shot laser beams from his helmet, he would have. However, his nifty arm would suffice...but no, he had disintegrated too many ZED-Troopers lately. Added to the amount that Eden Alliance had killed, the Galactic Council was in serious trouble of running out of the notoriously bad shooters. 

"That will not be necessary," Darth Yale hissed to the Trooper. "Admiral Maiett has already seen to it." Following the fiasco with Captain Picard, Maiett had realised that Darth Yale had been duped and immediately set about rectifying the problem. She had been tracking Aluko for many hours and was the one who allowed him past the electrified perimeter. 

The ZED-Trooper completed checking Aluko out (remember, Aluko is *everyone's* type) and held out Aluko's staff-saber to Darth Yale. "He was armed only with this," the Trooper said. 

Darth Yale accepted the staff-saber and stared at it for a long moment, noting the intricate carvings upon the tip. He then instructed the Trooper, "Leave us." Switching on his gear, Darth Yale contacted Admiral Maiett. (The beauty of having a helmet was that no one could see when he was using gear, or in VR, or simply sleeping.) 

Maiett's beautiful face appeared before his eyes and he fought to control his breathing. He managed, "Conduct your search and bring his companions to me." Quickly closing the link, Yale returned his attention to "Jungle Aluko", who had somehow morphed into "Subdued yet Mature Aluko". Now, the true order of destiny would be unveiled. 

"So...you have come to me." 

"And you to me," replied Aluko smugly. 

"The Emperor is expecting you," continued Darth Yale. With these words he felt a small sense of satisfaction. No longer would the troublesome Aluko be his problem, no, the Emperor could have the fun of trying to seduce (to the dark side, that is) this damn attractive young man. 

"I know...uncle's sister's ex-husband's twice-removed cousin's illegitimate son's droid's grandfather's friend's assistant's stepmother's dog's twin's nephew." 

Darth Yale was surprised for a moment (he hadn't expected Aluko to remember *that*) but then smiled under his evil helmet. "So, you have accepted the truth. Welcome home, my boy." 

Aluko seemed to freeze and conflict danced across his face. "I have accepted the truth that you were once related to me, before you were changed. I know there is good in you, I can feel it." Aluko was gathering steam. "That's why you couldn't destroy me before, and that's why you will take me to your Emperor now." 

"Of course I will," hissed Darth Yale, causing Aluko to do a double-take. He quickly muttered his lines back to himself and then swore, realising he had mixed them up again. "I mean, that's why you *won't* take me to your Emperor now." 

"But the Emperor is anxious to meet you," protested Darth Yale. "He wants to teach you so much. How to realise your full potential and how to be a true man. You don't know the power of the dark side of the dreaming!" 

"I know enough," Aluko said bitterly. "I know that it has changed my life forever and I can never fall in love again." 

Darth Yale ignored the young Dreamer and instead, ignited Aluko's staff-saber. "You have constructed another. Your skills are now complete." He waved the glowing saber up and down through the air, apparently enthralled by the humming noise it made. Almost like...cute little bumble bees buzzing through the forest. 

Viciously, Darth Yale shook his head and wondered where the aberrant program had come from. "Cruel, mean, dark," he whispered to himself like a mantra. 

"Come away with me," Aluko suddenly asked. He grasped Darth Yale's hand in his own, feeling a small thrill with the surge of electricity that passed between them. There was an undeniable link between them, borne not out of their genes, but their similar metal replacement body parts. 

"Terri-wan once thought as you do," intoned Yale, reluctantly pulling his hand away. "It is too late for me. The Emperor is your master now." 

Aluko stared hard at Darth Yale for one long moment until the scene faded out. 

*** 

Deep in space, Bainso Calrissian spearheaded Eden Alliance's fleet. They were moments away from entering cold-space, where they could traverse huge distances in a short amount of time at what *might* have been light speed (there was an ongoing debate on this point because the original specifications were ambiguous. A reluctant interim understanding indicated that they were probably travelling just below light speed, although once the relativistic time dilation was taken into account the ships could be seen as travelling faster than light which brought them back to the original argument. To add fuel to the fire, the cataloguing system of planets in the galaxy was so arcane that people never really knew where they were anyway. It was no wonder the legendary planet of G889, home of the Dreamers, had remained lost for so long.) 

Bainso checked his instruments, feeling a sudden need to go hide. They were still in the Scully-ust system and safe...for the moment. Terrible horrors lay in front of them, Bainso knew, and he didn't want to go on. He would have been happy on a small planet with a wife called Becca (or at least a good set of VR gear) and a nice mag-blaster at his side. But it was not to be. 

His communications system crackled to life and Bainso realised it was his line. "Um...I'm not coming out!" 

He heard the gravelly voice of Admiral Alvar in response. "Could you please repeat that last directive?" 

Swallowing hard, Bainso tried again. "The fleet is in position. All fighters accounted for." 

"Proceed with the countdown," instructed Alvar. "All groups assume attack coordinates." 

Bainso's co-pilot, Dinner, gave him a worried grunt. 

"Don't worry," Bainso tried to reassure him. "My friends are down there. They'll get that shield down...or this will be the shortest offensive of all time," he added under his breath. 

Dinner shot Bainso a worried look and again said something incomprehensible (because the subtitles weren't available). Bainso just nodded, not knowing that he was agreeing to enter a two year marriage contract with Dinner who had liked Bainso for quite some time. 

"May the force of the Dreamplane be with us," finished Admiral Alvar. Bainso quickly crossed himself and touched the button for cold-space entry. 

The stars blurred into a stream of eternity. 

*** 

It was morning in the forest and New Control Bunker was just over the next hill. Devonleia could scarcely believe it. After all this time of travelling, they were finally arriving! She suppressed a small squeal of excitement as they followed Morget the brave up the leaf-covered ridge. 

And there it was. The place that was so important to Eden Advance, the place they had dreamed of for so long. And it was crawling with ZED-Troopers. 

"Great," groaned Dan. "How are we supposed to get there with all of them hanging around?" 

Devonleia shrugged, watching a cute little interplay between Morget and Bessbacca. Morget had quickly surveyed the situation and then turned and ran with Bessie following after. 

"What's he doing?" Devonleia asked Julipio, who turned to Devonleia with a surprised smile on her unmoving face. 

"I believe he's gone to get help. He muttered something about a plan...." 

Soon, Morget returned with a distinctly female kobawok in tow. She was the same height as Morget, with the same markings on her fur. Morget chittered importantly, Julipio listening closely to be sure to translate it properly. Bessbacca also listened, gradually beginning to understand the kobawok language. 

"This," announced Julipio when Morget was finished, "is Marget. Morget's twin sister." 

A huge smile spread over Bessbacca's face and she embraced Marget happily, growling something that translated roughly to, "I'm very happy to meet Morget's sister." 

After accepting the hug, Marget told Julipio who told Devonleia who told Dan (who hadn't been listening for a while) that Morget had a plan. 

"Well, what is it?" Dan barked, having low tolerance for little rodents. 

Marget didn't answer. Instead, she raced to a conveniently- parked speeder bike and jumped on. It took her all of two seconds to figure out the controls and away she flew, giggling hysterically at what was probably the fastest ride of her life. 

After Devonleia had gotten over her surprise, she began to pout. Why did Marget get to ride it? Devonleia wanted another turn! She was about to grumble to Morget, but Morget was already being chewed out by Dan. "What good is this gonna do us, huh?" 

"Excuse me, sir..." tentatively interrupted Julipio as she pointed to the clearing below. "The ZED-Troopers..." 

"They're chasing Marget!" Devonleia realised. "Quick, this is our big chance!" 

Dan paused mid-sentence as he took in the scene. "You're right!" He gave Morget a big kiss of happiness and then spat the fur from his mouth. Then, realising what he'd just done, Dan hissed to Morget, "Now if you ever tell anyone about this-" 

Morget backed away, looking very traumatised. 

And so it was left to Devonleia and Bessie to lead their small team, finally, down to New Control Bunker. 

*** 

Darth Yale led Aluko silently through the long corridors of the Death Star. Aluko noticed that the same piece of corridor was being repeated over and over and wondered if they were walking in circles. He did not notice the low level technicians quickly unbuilding the corridor behind him so that it could be rebuilt ahead so that the corridors appeared to stretch for an eternity. 

Finally, after Eden Advance had had ample time to storm New Control Bunker, the doors to the Emperor's throne room were reached. Aluko swallowed nervously. Beyond that door lay his destiny, a destiny he did not yet fully know. Was the mysterious Emperor really as evil as everyone had said? Should Aluko listen to those rumours or should he make his own decisions? Should he lay off the local gossip network? Should he give up watching Melrose Place? 

No, he could never do that! And as for the Emperor, well...the darkness awaited him. 

The doors swung open, slowly, with great fanfare and procession. And before them, across a great floor space and up a great flight of stairs, sat a hunched figure wrapped in a black shroud. 

Aluko and Yale stepped forward, 10% reverently, 90% fearfully. Aluko could *feel* the evil just radiating down towards them. A picture of a shark jumped into his mind and he could see the teeth, so many teeth...! 

Before the throne they stood, relation and relation, both dressed in black. It was quite the colour of the season. Darth Yale bowed before his master, Aluko did not (his legs were sore from all that hiking, that was why. Not to mention the leg he'd broken when they crashed...). 

The Emperor, finally, glanced up and smiled evilly. Aluko felt a chill go through his heart as, at last, the Emperor's true identity was revealed. No, not him, anyone but him...! 

"Welcome, my young poppet," cackled Emperor Gaal. 

*** 

Devonleia felt like she was in heaven. There she was, right in the middle of New Control Bunker, a functioning outpost. This was what she had dreamed of for years! It was such a shame that...that someone couldn't be here because he was dead. Frowning, Devonleia wished she could remember who had died. Someone Aluko knew quite well, someone who was connected to their family? 

Deciding not to worry about it any longer (because frowning would give her wrinkles), Devonleia returned her attention to setting the explosive charges. It was kind of funny, in a way. They'd travelled so far to New Control Bunker, dreaming of a future there, and now they were going to blow it up. 

No, Devonleia decided, it wasn't funny. It was downright sadistic. Who knew how many ZED-Troopers they would hurt by doing this? Not to mention the kobawoks! 

She was about to express her concerns to Dan when she noticed Julipio behaving even more strangely than usual. The golden-haired droid seemed to be huddled in a corner and coughing up something. 

"Are you okay?" Devonleia asked, worried. She lightly touched Julipio on the shoulder and the droid whirled around, a panicked look in her eyes. 

"Yes, I'm fine," Julipio quickly said. 

"You looked like you were sick..." began Devon. 

"Hairball," answered Julipio. "I think I've been around the kobawoks too much, their fur got inside my circuitry." 

"Well, okay," Devonleia said dubiously, noticing that Julipio was keeping whatever she had coughed up carefully hidden in one hand. "If you need anything, just call." 

"I will," said Julipio. 

Devonleia returned to setting the bomb. It asked for the perimeter. "One kilometre," she decided. After giving a few more commands, it was finally set. Detonation in ten minutes. That should give Eden Advance more than enough time to move away from the blast region. 

"Move away from the zone," recited the bomb over and over. 

"Dan? Bessie? Ready to go?" called Devonleia. She looked around, noticing it was surprisingly silent and that their other helpers had managed to disappear. 

"Julipio?" 

Devonleia wandered into the next room and stopped in shock. Julipio was standing there with a hologram coming from her arm, a hologram that looked suspiciously like the face of a commander from the Galactic Council! 

"Well done, Citizen P.O.," the commander was saying. "I will advise my troops to treat you well." 

"Julipio!" gasped Devonleia just as a force of commandos and ZED-Troopers swept into the room. They quickly arrested Devonleia and tied her arms to her sides. "Julipio - how could you?" asked Devonleia, horrified at the sudden turn of events. She heard a smashing sound and the cool voice of the bomb stopped its recitations mid-sentence. "You betrayed us all!" 

"I'm sorry," whispered Julipio, and then ate what Devonleia had thought was a hairball but was now quite obviously a communications device. "I never meant it to go this far." 

"Well, it did," yelled Devonleia, now really pissed. Devonleia's dreams had just come crashing down around her, all thanks to a stupid droid who'd been working for the enemy since day one! And what was worse, she had no idea what had happened to Dan. He might even be dead! "That's it, Julipio. I've put up with your prattling for far too long. Now I have a good excuse to throw you out." 

Tears filled Julipio's eyes but this didn't stop Devonleia. 

"Do you hear me, Julipio? I cast you out! You're no longer a member of Eden Advance! We're going to abandon you in the wilderness! And you deserve every single terrible thing that ever happens to you...and if Dan is dead, then I swear, I will hunt you down and personally dismember you! Traitor!" The final word was a shout as Devonleia was dragged off by the Troopers. She didn't yet realise the predicament she was in. It was Devonleia who would be tormented, not Julipio. 

Yet, in those few moments, Julipio would have done anything to trade places with Devonleia, for Devonleia had great hair. 

*** 

The Emperor sat quietly in his throne room, rhythmically drumming his fingers across the nearby tabletop. He was gravely disturbed. There was a growing mania sweeping the galaxy, causing mass hysteria and excitement, the likes of which had never been seen before. However, every time the Emperor tried to put a name to it, he was stumped. It was something about an evil ghost, but that didn't correlate at all with the visions the Emperor was receiving through the Dreamplane. He saw a little boy playing with VR gear, he saw a cute young man (was his name Rocky? The Emperor shook his head, having absolutely *no* idea where that thought came from) and he also saw...himself. His younger self. 

It was all very frightening. The Emperor had often seen the future, but never the past. Yes, he remembered the past because it had already happened, but the visions were surely from the future which meant that now had happened before the before had happened but the before had already happened which meant that now was unknown as should the future be so how was the past going to happen in the future? It couldn't, so he shouldn't be afraid of it anyway! 

Sighing, the Emperor placed his head in his hands and beckoned for one of his Crimson Guards (which looked awfully like Frankfurts) to come closer and give him an aspirin. 

That done, he anxiously looked at his clock and wondered just how long it could take Darth Yale and Aluko to go to the men's room. Then again, Yale had all that armour to get off. 

The Emperor again shook his head and vowed to get his mind out of the gutter. He'd been speaking to the rats a little too much lately. 

At last, Darth Yale and Aluko returned. 

"Come here," beckoned the Emperor to Aluko. The young Dreamer did so. 

"I have so much to teach you," whispered the Emperor. "So much magic to show you. Did you know that magic happens on this planet?" 

He produced a flower and Aluko, spellbound, took it. --- END (10/?) 

 

ACKNOWLEDGMENTS: Not all of the jokes are mine. I 'borrowed' one from Mai's wonderful sig. I also apologise for the cracks against Action Figures and Aluko. I do like them, really!


	8. Chapter 8

Post-Script, August 2012

In posting this to A03, I do regret that I never completed it. It's better than I remember, and oh, the days of mailing lists were fun.

I could write a quick paragraph summing it all up, but the truth is, we know how it ended. Julipio was forgiven, Aluko helped Yale find his true self again, and Devonleia was awesome. Not to mention the whole saving-the-galaxy thing! 

Maybe I'll write the rest someday.


End file.
